Not the Enemy

Met a new mom at preschool drop off this morning. Seems nice enough . . . after a few minutes of the usual mom-to-mom banter we went on our separate ways. One thing that struck me from our conversation was that she pointed out theirs was a dual-income family. Whether by necessity or not, I do not know . . . but she made it clear in our two-minute talk, “We. Both. Work.” There is a lot of implicit meaning behind a statement like that, especially when you have just uttered it to someone who is clearly a stay-at-home mom.

Everyone like to joke about them, but the Mommy Wars are real . . . maybe not in the sense the media would have us believe, but they are ever-present.

My experience has been that moms who work outside the home LOVE to point out this fact as often as possible. And they expect it to elicit sympathy. Whether or not they are intentionally doing this in the presence of stay-at-home mothers to make a point, I’m not sure. However, I find it interesting that it is usually presented with an implied air of “and you don’t” or better yet, “and you don’t have to.” The impression is you (you, you . . . stay-at-home mommy!) are so fortunate . . . so protected . . . so . . . what exactly is it you do all day? Because everyone knows that caring for children is menial, beneath the dignity of an educated woman.

Yes, I know it can (and often does) go both ways. Many mothers who make the choice to NOT work outside the home and instead be the primary caregivers of their offspring often slip into venomous lashings out in the opposite direction: Clearly, moms who go off to work each morning do not care about their children at all, and probably wish they never even had them.

And so it cycles, not knowing when (or how) to stop.

Travel Fun

Traveling with a four-year-old and a two-year-old to the grocery store can present challenges; taking them on a week’s vacation to visit The Mouse and Company in a foreign country in the middle of August can present, well, insanity. We all survived, however, and following are some musings on our recent family vacation to Disneyland Paris . . . our last big trip as a Party of Four.

Top 5 Really Great Things About Our Week

1. France, unlike Italy (where we live currently) has Starbucks! Can you say Momma’s Latte Fix?
2. Food is basically arranged into 4 categories: wines, cheeses, breads, and Nutella. At nearly 7 months pregnant, I steered clear of the first, but indulged in the other three. At every meal. Say what you want about snobby French people; they know how to eat.
3. Character meals are just as much fun for the grown-ups. I have a very entertaining picture of my husband with Captain Hook to prove it.
4. Playhouse Disney on the hotel TV . . . in French! My girls thought it was fabulous and were quite humored by seeing all of their “old favorites” in a new language . . . it mattered not that they don’t know a word of French. We even ended up going to see Playhouse Disney Live in English, Spanish, and French, after which my older daughter wanted to know when we could catch the Italian version.
5. Meet and greets with costumed characters . . . they are so REAL to a preschooler it’s just beyond adorable.

Top 5 Really Annoying Things About Our Week

1. The younger decided she and Daddy needed matching velcro suits, and the older decided it would be the ideal time to perfect her attitude. This made for some fun commutes to and from the parks, but generally once we arrived they both mellowed.
2. It rained almost every day. Granted, we were thrilled just not to be in 90 degree temperatures for a week, but still. Packing rain jackets for all definitely a good idea.
3. Cattle herding. Sometimes you think you are getting into a show when the doors open, but alas, you are just being herded into a holding pen to wait some more. Sigh.
4. People in queue lines can be rather irksome. Some tips: don’t let your kids cut in line or get too far ahead of you, for goodness sake curtail your public displays of affection (please!), and I know it’s challenging, but try to actually Form A Line.
5. Parade watchers who try to overtake your space . . . especially when you have been standing there for 15 or 20 minutes to get said space and they show up 5 minutes into the action. One father actually sent his 4 or 5 year old daughter over to stand “with” us (read: she took up valuable space we had staked out) so she could see better.

All in all it was a good week. Of course, by the end I had pretty much reached my capacity for Pregnant Travel, and ended up being tired and nauseous for most the the return trip. I’m glad we decided to go this summer, however, instead of waiting and attempting the same trip next summer with THREE kids. There will be enough time for that kind of craziness later.