Thursday, May 26, 2011

Falling

Last weekend in the grocery store I started flipping out because J was being, well, three. I believe a can of tomatoes was slammed on a shelf . . . by me.
Tuesday at the doctor’s with E I had zero patience for her “I refuse to do anything you want me to” attitude.
Yesterday afternoon I plopped J on the couch (not very nicely) and mumbled something about time out, which we don’t even use, and walked away . . . after I had (also not very nicely) grabbed something out of her hand that she wasn’t supposed to have.
Before I became a Momma, I had a lot of really good ideas about parenting.

It used to be when I would witness parents being totally exasperated with their children, I would think: There’s a better way! I will control myself! I will be the adult! MY children won’t act that way anyway, so it’s really a moot point. 
Now I just hope I don’t sound as bad as I used to think they did.
So, what’s a Momma to do? Well, sometimes it helps to have different scenarios role-played in my head. I love the Ask the Doctor section of Laura Markham’s website. Go ahead . . . click on it, choose your child’s age, and read away. You will see yourself in many of these parents’ questions. And then, if you’re like me, you’ll think “Oh, yeah, that’s what I could have done instead.” I also really enjoy the section on discipline and behavior at askdrsears.com. 
It supposedly takes 21 days to make something a habit. So, when I start to slip into reactive mode, I stop and think: Is this what I want to be doing 21 days from now? Two years from now? When my kids are teenagers?

I know the kind of parent I want to be. I strive for it daily and often succeed, unless of course I fail. And that’s okay. Better to have high expectations and fall short sometimes, than to have low expectations and meet them every time. I’m sure someone else has said that before and I’m not giving proper credit, but I don’t feel like Googling right now.

1 comment :

  1. I've got to make time to read that Ask the Doctor - do they have higher ages in that? Mine are going on 9 now (!). Yesterday was a day for no patience...

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