Thursday, November 8, 2012

Would You Accept?

You've just been offered the employment opportunity of a lifetime! 

The details:
Sometimes we drink (smoothies) in the middle of the work day
  • You will be on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 18 years minimum.
  • How busy you are will ebb and flow unpredictably depending on time of year, age of your coworkers, whether or not you have a job-sharing partner, and myriad other factors.
  • No, we can't tell you specifically what those factors are, and they are subject to change at any time, without warning.
  • You will be expected to fulfill any and all duties regardless of time of day, although the overnight shift should slow considerably after the first few years.
  • Everyone in your department will eventually sleep all night, but not all at the same time. Until then, they may rely on you for comfort at any hour.
  • Vacations and days off will be extremely limited, and often (perhaps always) you will be taking your coworkers with you anyway.
  • The members of your department eat a lot and you'll be doing the majority of the food preparation, at least for the first 8-10 years. Be prepared to provide three meals a day plus snacks. Note the youngest ones may cue you for food hourly around the clock for the first several months.
  • For the first 2-4 years of everyone's tenure, you will be supervising all bathroom breaks. Things could get, um, messy.
  • Speaking of messy . . . you will be responsible for cleaning the whole office building, including the kitchen and bathrooms.
  • You'll also be doing all the company's laundry, and consider it fair warning that some of your cohorts will go through multiple outfits per work day.
  • Additional duties will include but not not be limited to driving, bathing, dressing, educating, guiding, disciplining, and arranging medical care for your entire division.
By the way . . . it pays zero. In fact, in all likelihood you will be asked to make financial sacrifices for the privilege of even considering this job.

Interested?

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10 comments :

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! I just went and checked out your blog. Also found your FB page. Looking forward to reading more. Have a great day!

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  2. Totally interested! Praying that I'll have an opportunity to take this job on very soon.

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  3. Beautifully captured. Motherhood is such an important job that we too often sell ourselves short on. It's hard work. But it's so worth it.

    Stopping by from SITS.

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  4. Count me in, LOL! Seriously though, this is a great post. So true and so worth it! :)

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  5. I got a good chuckle of your job description :) Sounds very daunting.

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  6. Um...but you didn't get to the fabulous benefits! Perhaps that's for another post :)

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  7. Yes, and I had no idea that was the full job description when I fell in love with the notion of becoming a mother. But the benefits are so worth it. ;)

    Thank you for coming to our Monday Meet & Greet, Valerie.

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  8. Oh, Valerie
    I love this! My answer is YES, YES and another YES! I am a mom who is experiencing her first empty nest year, but if I have to choose again, I would do it all over again. Did you mention that we don't get paid a salary at this company. Yet, this is the most wonderful job ever!!
    Nice meeting you at Lisa's.
    Hugs XX
    Mia

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