08 November 2012

Would You Accept?

You've just been offered the employment opportunity of a lifetime! 

The details:
Sometimes we drink (smoothies) in the middle of the work day
  • You will be on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 18 years minimum.
  • How busy you are will ebb and flow unpredictably depending on time of year, age of your coworkers, whether or not you have a job-sharing partner, and myriad other factors.
  • No, we can't tell you specifically what those factors are, and they are subject to change at any time, without warning.
  • You will be expected to fulfill any and all duties regardless of time of day, although the overnight shift should slow considerably after the first few years.
  • Everyone in your department will eventually sleep all night, but not all at the same time. Until then, they may rely on you for comfort at any hour.
  • Vacations and days off will be extremely limited, and often (perhaps always) you will be taking your coworkers with you anyway.
  • The members of your department eat a lot and you'll be doing the majority of the food preparation, at least for the first 8-10 years. Be prepared to provide three meals a day plus snacks. Note the youngest ones may cue you for food hourly around the clock for the first several months.
  • For the first 2-4 years of everyone's tenure, you will be supervising all bathroom breaks. Things could get, um, messy.
  • Speaking of messy . . . you will be responsible for cleaning the whole office building, including the kitchen and bathrooms.
  • You'll also be doing all the company's laundry, and consider it fair warning that some of your cohorts will go through multiple outfits per work day.
  • Additional duties will include but not not be limited to driving, bathing, dressing, educating, guiding, disciplining, and arranging medical care for your entire division.
By the way . . . it pays zero. In fact, in all likelihood you will be asked to make financial sacrifices for the privilege of even considering this job.



  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! I just went and checked out your blog. Also found your FB page. Looking forward to reading more. Have a great day!

  2. Totally interested! Praying that I'll have an opportunity to take this job on very soon.

  3. Beautifully captured. Motherhood is such an important job that we too often sell ourselves short on. It's hard work. But it's so worth it.

    Stopping by from SITS.

  4. Count me in, LOL! Seriously though, this is a great post. So true and so worth it! :)

  5. I got a good chuckle of your job description :) Sounds very daunting.

  6. Um...but you didn't get to the fabulous benefits! Perhaps that's for another post :)

    1. Definitely worthy of their own post, yes. :-)

  7. Yes, and I had no idea that was the full job description when I fell in love with the notion of becoming a mother. But the benefits are so worth it. ;)

    Thank you for coming to our Monday Meet & Greet, Valerie.

  8. Oh, Valerie
    I love this! My answer is YES, YES and another YES! I am a mom who is experiencing her first empty nest year, but if I have to choose again, I would do it all over again. Did you mention that we don't get paid a salary at this company. Yet, this is the most wonderful job ever!!
    Nice meeting you at Lisa's.
    Hugs XX