|Sometimes we drink (smoothies) in the middle of the work day|
- You will be on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 18 years minimum.
- How busy you are will ebb and flow unpredictably depending on time of year, age of your coworkers, whether or not you have a job-sharing partner, and myriad other factors.
- No, we can't tell you specifically what those factors are, and they are subject to change at any time, without warning.
- You will be expected to fulfill any and all duties regardless of time of day, although the overnight shift should slow considerably after the first few years.
- Everyone in your department will eventually sleep all night, but not all at the same time. Until then, they may rely on you for comfort at any hour.
- Vacations and days off will be extremely limited, and often (perhaps always) you will be taking your coworkers with you anyway.
- The members of your department eat a lot and you'll be doing the majority of the food preparation, at least for the first 8-10 years. Be prepared to provide three meals a day plus snacks. Note the youngest ones may cue you for food hourly around the clock for the first several months.
- For the first 2-4 years of everyone's tenure, you will be supervising all bathroom breaks. Things could get, um, messy.
- Speaking of messy . . . you will be responsible for cleaning the whole office building, including the kitchen and bathrooms.
- You'll also be doing all the company's laundry, and consider it fair warning that some of your cohorts will go through multiple outfits per work day.
- Additional duties will include but not not be limited to driving, bathing, dressing, educating, guiding, disciplining, and arranging medical care for your entire division.
By the way . . . it pays zero. In fact, in all likelihood you will be asked to make financial sacrifices for the privilege of even considering this job.