Becoming Intentional With My Time

Welcome to the first edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by Authentic Parenting and Mudpiemama! In the month of January, we start afresh, a new year, new ideas. Hence, our participants have looked into the topic of “Birth and New Beginnings”. Take a look at the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants.

The advent of a new year lends itself naturally to self-reflection and self-renewal. No better time than January to clean the slate and start fresh. 

Many of you have seen One Word 365 and have chosen a word of your own for the year. My one word for 2012 is intentional. Each month I'm considering a specific way I can be intentional with my thoughts and actions. For January I'm becoming intentional with my time.

Because I love a good list, I came up with a simple three-step plan:

1. Focus on what I'm doing right. I've been really great at prioritizing morning quiet time, Bible reading time, and writing time.

Agent E, Pirate in Pajamas

2. Let go of the shoulds. I should read more. I should spend less time online. I should have a cleaning schedule . . . a meal rotation . . . a homeschooling calendar . . . a blogging plan. Of course all these things still need to get done, but when the routine isn't perfect I cut myself some slack. One area in particular where I am making progress is with our homeschooling. I'm learning to let E control the pace and not fret about what we "should" be doing with our days.

3. Make one meaningful change, then move on to another one. In the past few weeks, I have consciously made the decision to shut down my computer for a huge chunk of the day, instead of leaving it in "sleep" mode and being tempted to check "one more thing" all day long. Now that it's becoming ingrained to do that one simple thing, I will move onto something else. 

Are you also focusing on a specific change for the year? Just starting out with a new goal for the next 12 months? Leave a comment and let me know how it's going so far.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Visit Authentic Parenting and MudpieMama to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: (This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 27 with all the carnival links.)

• Becoming Intentional with My Time Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the beginning of her year-long journey toward more intentional living. 
• Alirik’s Birth Story: Sweet Surprise Lauren at Hobo Mama tells the sweet surprise unassisted home water birth story of her second child.
• My Rebirth: An Honest Look Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks a little about some of the fear and insecurity she's felt over the years since starting her parenting journey and her blog.
• Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story After a very challenging birth with her son, Dionna at Code Name: Mama was nervous about having another natural birth. But practicing relaxation techniques and birth affirmations proved to be just what she needed to have her perfect, peaceful, unassisted homebirth.
• My Homeschool Philosophy Paige a Bay Dust Diaries shares her new year's resulution about homeschooling. 
• Yet Another Resolutions Post... Zen mummy's resolutions for a better 2012
• Renewing Green Passions in the New Year Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about renewing a passion for green living in the new year
• Birthing and New Beginnings... And Better Mothering Sheila at A Living Family shares her first ever New Year's resolutions to be a more mindful, compassionate and respectful mother to her two-year old daughter after the recent birth of her son.
• An Open Letter to MTV Regarding 16 and Pregnant Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delivers a pointed message to MTV about how they misrepresent birth and parenthood on 16 and Pregnant.
• Setting Intentions Megan at The Other Baby Blog shares another way to ring in the New Year.
• Spencer's Birth Story Momma Jorje shares her family's story of birthing her son with Down syndrome.
• Looking Forward, Looking Back Erica @ ChildOrganics shares how she is able to look back at the loss of their daughter and yet move forward with her family at the same time. 
• Unique unto Itself. Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings has chosen a word for her second child's birth: awareness.
• The Unassisted Birth of The LIttle Buddha. Laura at Authentic Parenting shares the birth story of her new baby
• Birthing and Resolutions: Keeping Good Things in Motion. MudpieMama shares her VBAC story and why she skipped making resolutions in the traditional way. 
• The Birth of a New Era by Mandy from Living Peacefully With Children

7 Quick Takes Friday (20)

Welcome to 7 Quick Takes Friday, my 20th edition! This week: where I'm blogging, cute things Agent A is doing, and chatting with Hubby. Enjoy. Be sure to stop by  Conversion Diary to read Jennifer's post and check out the other bloggers posted there.

1. Later today I'll be participating in a carnival with Authentic Parenting. I'm writing about the first month of this one word 2012 thing. Please stop by again and check it out, then visit some of the other blog pages linked up.

2. Yesterday my first post with Connected Mom went live. I'm so excited to be a part of this wonderful group of women.

3. Andrew says a few words . . . mama, dada, cat, ball, Roomba  . . . but mostly he does the baby caveman point and grunt. He also signs milk, more, and bath. I don't think either of the girls were saying this much at 14 months; in fact, I recall thinking Eva was never going to talk.

Sometimes I steal my sister's Minnie Mouse robe

4. If you start counting around Agent A, he covers his eyes. Or his ears. Or he just puts his hands on his head. (We play hide-and-seek a lot around here.)

5. A has also started reaching up for my hand when we walk beside each other. Adorableness.

6. "Well, it's plastic except for the hair . . . should we recycle the body and put her head in the trash?" (Hubby and I discussing the fate of a decapitated-beyond-repair Barbie doll. Weirdest. conversation. ever.)

7. I think it's about time I let Hubby know this blog exists. It's not like I set out to not tell him about it, I just never brought it up. Thoughts?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Practical Tools for Challenging Times

At my best, I am a loving, gentle, compassionate parent who adores my children and strives to be positive and focus on relationship. At my worst, I'm pretty sure clips of my week could be sewn into a reality television show about how not to parent.

So what about the in between? What about when you want to be centered and calm but trials of everyday life become overwhelming? What do you do when you start to become frustrated and need a better way to handle things?

For six tips I use around our house when things start to spiral, click on over to the rest of my post at Connected Mom.

Book Giveaway Winner

We have a winner! Even though I completely mangled the install and uninstall of a new comment program, and lost all the original comments on A Little Sweepstakes of Sorts in the process, I was still able to chose a winner. How? Oh, I forgot one little detail: my blog sends me an e-mail every time someone comments. Duh. So, I still knew who entered! The cat was sleeping, so I pulled a name out of a hat. (Okay, plastic art supply box.) And the lucky recipient of Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving is . . . 

Amy W. (Cheers . . . clapping . . . cheers . . . clapping . . .)

So, if you could e-mail me at mommainprogress@gmail.com (or FB message me) with your mailing address, that would be fabulous! I will put the book in the mail this week, Agents permitting. (A has a cold, and is spending all of his waking hours glued to me, so it's entirely possible we could be in our pajamas until Thursday or Friday.)

Now to start working on a February giveaway . . .

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

7 Quick Takes Friday (19)

Oh, how I love Fridays and this 7 Quick Takes thing. Thanks so much to Jennifer for hosting each week. Find her post here . . . be sure to leave a comment and then check out the others linked up.

1. Tried to install CommentLuv on my blog this week . . . and uninstalled it two days later. Sigh. I wanted something that would allow folks to link up their most recent post when they leave a comment, and this seemed like the best option for Blogger, but . . . maybe there's something else that would work better? Any thoughts, blogging friends? I really don't want to lose all my previous comments. One other issue was with the comment "counter" . . . it would always indicate zero, but when you click on it there were obviously comments there. Ugh.

Agent J loves art time

2. On a related note, I tried to have My First Bloggy Giveaway this week. All folks needed to do was leave a comment for a chance to win a free book. But guess what? When you uninstall a comment program, you also lose all the comments. So, if any of you fine readers would still like to win a copy of Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving by Julie Ann Barnhill, please go to the post A Little Sweepstakes of Sorts and leave a comment. I have extended the "deadline" until tomorrow.

3. Starting to get really excited about moving again, even though it's still over four months away. Lately I've been very motivated to let go of stuff and start getting more organized. Although if you could see the condition of our apartment right now, that might not be evident.


4. Agent J wanted to finger paint yesterday. As you can see in the accompanying photo, she enjoyed it.

5. Bought Agent A a new car seat this week. He is almost 15 months and close to the height limit on his infant seat. We purchased a convertible seat but will be keeping him facing back for quite a while. Current guidelines recommend to age two (in most cases), although I don't think a lot of parents are aware of this. 

Agent A's new ride

6. I'm truly amazed that our cat has not scratched, bitten, or otherwise maimed one of our children. That feline has the patience of a saint. I cannot get Agent E to stop holding her like a baby, wrapping her up in blankets, and otherwise torturing her. Poor kitty . . . we got her almost seven years ago, and since then have brought three of those small people into our home. Every time we came home with a new baby, we just imagined her rolling her little cat eyes and muttering to herself, really? another one?

7. Raining today (again) so we may stay in and skip our usual Friday play/library/lunch time. I'm thinking we will try to make some homemade play doh instead. You know, since the finger painting thing went so well.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. The Blogger spacing issues make me batty! Photos seem to ruin the paragraph spacing about 50% of the time. Anyone else have this problem, or can I chalk it up to my extensive technical skills?

Let It Go

Blogging again with Hearts at Home. You can find Jill's post here. Click this link to read my previous blog hop posts.

I consider myself to be sort of the anti-pack rat. I don't really have a problem with holding on to too many things, and I am more than willing to sell or donate unused items.

This doesn't mean I always do this. It just means I know I am capable. (Unlike most people in my family and my husband's family . . . but we're not even going to go there.)

I am also not a big fan of cleaning. Just keeping up with the laundry and vacuuming and kitchen stuff makes me woozy. But the truth is . . . the less stuff you have, the easier it is to clean (and organize). We're making a concerted effort to par down right now . . . resolution-y January, and all. It helps that we are getting ready to move in a few months—additional built-in motivation.

So, my biggest tip for keeping all those resolutions to finally have a clean, efficient house is (drum roll please) . . .

Get rid of stuff.

If it sounds too easy, it's because, well, it is. Need some ideas for how to start? Check out the Simple Mom website. Search "decluttering" and be inspired and amazed. Also check out another of my favorite sites, Gospel Homemaking. Still want more? Try 31 Days to Clean. (Full disclosure: I've never actually made it through all 31 days. Sigh.)

Here are some specific tips I use for deciding what stuff goes and what stuff stays. (And, I'm trying to see how many times I can use the word "stuff" in one blog post.)

Household Stuff

Less cleaning, more playing with cute babies

Think about the end result: How nice it will be when dusting/cleaning doesn't take forever. A few meaningful framed photos, knick knacks, or candles can be nice. Moving 27 separate items just to dust the top of the TV stand, not so much.

Kitchen Stuff

Ask yourself these three questions: 1. Do you use it? 2. Do you use it? 3. Do you use it? 

Clothing (and Shoes and Jewelry) Stuff

Does it serve a specific purpose? Does it make you feel fabulous? And (ooh, here's the hard one) does it fit?

Sentimental Stuff

If you're mushy, embrace it. Then move on. Even I keep lots of stuff I will never use/need again. (Um, three ginormous boxes of baby clothes in the attic, anyone?)

Now I think I need to take my own advice and go organize a closet or something. Please take a look at the other posts linked below and send these wonderful bloggers some love.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

A Little Sweepstakes of Sorts

Welcome to my first ever Bloggy Giveaway! 

Many of you know I've been blogging Third Thursday Thoughts with Hearts at Home for a while now. . . another one coming up this week, in fact. Well, they have passed along to me two copies of the book Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving by Julie Ann Barnhill. I'm keeping one for me (duh!) and passing one along to one of my readers (yeah!).

(Full disclosure: I have not yet read this book myself. But it's on my list. Really.)

You want me to do what?

Anyway, if you'd like to "win" a copy, please leave me a comment on this blog post. I'll have my cat chose a winner at random from all comments posted before Friday 6 a.m. my time. (That's midnight Thursday for you east coast people.) Please note that the only way to "enter" is to comment on the post itself, not on my Facebook wall . . . although you are welcome to chat with me there, too, because as you may have noticed, I love Facebook.

Second motive with this post: I just added CommentLuv to my blog and want to test it out to make sure I have it installed correctly. (I'm a writer; not very technically inclined.) So help me out, will ya? Bonus, if you have a blog yourself it will should provide a link back to your most recent post. Feeling the love yet?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Second Semester Is a Go!

Sharing some thoughts on our homeschooling so far this semester and linking up at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. Be sure to check out the weekly wrap-up from Kris and send some love to the bloggers listed there. Also, stop by Facebook and like her page. (Mine, too, while you're at it!)

We just finished week two, semester two, and have decided to take a somewhat different approach this semester/year. After the first week, I really started feeling way too scheduled . . . my neurotic planning and homemade "curriculum" didn't feel right anymore. So, I made a couple of changes.

Let the fun begin

First, I eliminated my weekly "agenda" and instead will simply be using my semester overview notes as a guide instead of trying to get to every "subject" every week. In other words, instead of planning what to DO at the beginning of each week, at the end of the week I will recap what we actually DID. Of course, I will  probably still have a variety of things printed and ready in the binder at any given time, because that’s what Eva likes.

Second, I'm trying to let her take the lead more and wing it more than previously. And the result so far is that she does want to learn, she loves to learn, and she will come up with ideas about what to learn all on her own. For example, this week without prompting (too much, anyway) she wanted to learn about telling time (which we started a while ago but didn’t get very far). We worked on learning to the hour and half hour, but have a few worksheets ready to go for learning 10-, 5-, and 1-minute increments. She became curious about fractions, too, so we’ll likely incorporate that next week. We’ve also been talking a lot about Florida and the move in June (again, her interest). 

Our 10 library books for the week

Third, I'm working on finding balance for myself, particularly when it comes to computer time versus reading time. I find that if I don’t mention it, but just sit down and pick up a book myself, she is more likely to join me (and read on her own) than if I say hey let’s read something, or why don’t you go read a book. Also, as I consciously make an effort to spend less time on my laptop, her computer time seems to be waning as well (on it’s own, not because I put a limit on it) . . . or perhaps the novelty is just wearing off. 

Oh, and I had this brilliant idea this week . . . I was wondering if I should start keeping track of the books take out of the library each week, and that seemed like a lot of work/typing . . . so instead I decided to take a photo of them. Okay, so maybe it's not brilliant, but it was a lightbulb moment for me.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

One of my writing/blogging goals for 2012 is to be active, positive, and encouraging within the online writing/blogging community. 

(This fits in well with the theme of my one word for 2012.)

And I'm blessed to have found so many wonderful, thoughtful, reflective writers out there who are sharing peaceful, honest advice in a helpful way . . . and I truly believe they should keep on doing it. Writers like this inspire me, writers like the ones I thanked in this post.

Choose kindness

However, that's not always the case. Folks can easily hide behind keyboards and iPhones. They forget about the real, live person on the other end, and sometimes it can get downright mean.

You may have seen this post this post floating virally around. I think the writer is spot on. And I want to throw my own two cents at the topic. (Full disclosure: I actually had this post drafted before I read her article. Then I had that Crap Someone Else Wrote Exactly What I Was Thinking Before I Did experience that all bloggers have at least once a week. But I decided to polish and publish anyway.)

Indulge me in my soapbox, please?

I think sharing information is fabulous. I post links on my own Facebook page, and follow others links on pages I "like" all. the. time. They make me think about my own choices and provide new perspectives. My theory is, read it, and if you don’t like it, don’t use it. 

The problem I have is when folks move from offering genuine information and concern to reading/talking/writing over each other. I have watched threads turn so ugly on usually very respectful, peaceful blogs or message boards because people stop listening and just want to get their own view across. Or some poor Momma is desperately seeking advice, and they mock her choices or judge something that has already happened that she can’t change. 

(An extreme case: A blog dedicated to gentle parenting posted an article about the circumcision-related death of a newborn. Readers were actually posting “I told you so” comments . . . snarky, see that’s what you get kind of complete @#$%. No kidding. Usually it’s not that bad, but still annoying. And unnecessary.)

A few things to consider:

Just because you did it doesn't mean it can be done by someone else. (Just try this!)

Classic example: Potty learning

That's great if your child learned independent toilet skills at 14 months. Not believable, but great. The Mom desperate for tips with training her three-year-old before preschool is not going to benefit from your story. Nor can she go back in time and use your glowing insight.

Consider other viewpoints

If it worked for you, that doesn't mean it will work for me. (You're not doing it right.)

Classic example: Sleep

Sleep does not beget sleep for all children. Bedtime routines are not a panacea. Breastfeeding, rocking, and co-sleeping are not bad habits in need of breaking. Cribs were not constructed by Satan himself.

Two reasonable, intelligent people can research the same topic and come to two very different conclusions. (Sometimes the only answer is to agree to disagree.)

Classic example: Vaccines

Guess what? No one in the opposite camp is swayed by any "research" in this area. Trust me.

Your pet obsession agenda is not the pat answer for every problem. (Knock it off. Seriously.)

Classic example: Random question on a natural parenting site

I know people mean well, I do. But . . . I honestly do not believe the solution to any given parenting dilemma is stop vaccinating, give up dairy, and see a chiropractor. Really?

Use your words . . . nicely. (Remember that Golden Rule stuff?)

Classic example: Breastfeeding

Wanna start a Mommy War? Bring up breastfeeding versus formula feeding in a group of new mothers. Bonus for working in the terms nazi, poison, selfish, tied down, give up, IQ, or bonding.

How about we all make a pact that for 2012 we will rise above this insanity?

Because you know what? That person you are slamming behind the safety net of online anonymity loves her kids as much as you do.

Spread some joy

The aforementioned post pretty much sums it up:

"Do you beat your kids senseless? Do you starve them? Do you withhold all love and affection? Do you tell them they aren't worthy? If you answered yes to any of [these] questions, then I think we have an issue. If not, then my guess is you are doing your very best at the hardest, hardest job."

Can we make a conscious effort to be empathetic instead of critical? Can we please stop steamrolling each other? Can we remember to simply be nice? 

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

On Writing

Early this week, I (purposely) deleted my writing/blogging calendar from my iCal. I realized that all it did was make me feel bad for not meeting self-imposed deadlines and not staying on track like I imagine those Really Organized Bloggers Who Actually Follow Calendars do.

Instead, I came up with a short list of (realistic) Goals for Blogging in 2012:

It's good to have goals

1. Write frequently and honestly. Be more open and less self-censoring. I cannot even tell you how long I sat on posts because they weren't "perfect" enough to publish. Or how many times I re-read something from my own archives and thought who wrote that? I would love to continue posting two or three times a week; I think that is reasonable for my current season of parenting.

2. Engage actively and positively in the writing/blogging community. Encourage other bloggers with thoughtful comments, links, tags, shares. Remember we are all here to learn from each other; criticizing and harsh words have no place. In other words, I'm going to be supportive and nice.

3. Re-evaluate often. This is usually where all my best laid plans fail. I am beyond awful at objectively assessing what is working and what is not. I need to make a conscious effort to do this routinely, and through an honest lens.

I hope you have enjoyed what you have read so far on this blog and will continue to follow my journey in 2012. 

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Book Review: A Year With Jesus, by R.P. Nettelhorst

You may have noticed, I love books. With the parenting books I rave about, and my daily Bible reading, and reading up on homeschooling, I am usually in the middle of no fewer than three at any given time. 

This year I will also be periodically reviewing books as part of BookSneeze®. First up: A Year With Jesus: Daily Readings and Reflections on Jesus' Own Words by R.P. Nettelhorst. 

This one-year devotional examines the words Jesus spoke throughout the Gospels (plus a bit of text from Acts and Revelation). The introduction, compared to other "devotional" books I have read, is short (one page) and to the point: We get to know people by spending time with them and listening to them. Spend time with and listen to Jesus every day.

Nettelhorst organizes his writing into ten sections, including not only predictable polarities (e.g., love and hate, good and evil, life and death) but also the dichotomies of arrogance and humility, deserved and undeserved, fidelity and treachery. It's helpful that he includes the complete scripture reference on each page along with his thoughts. My only criticism, if you could call it that, would be that he does not pull text from one translation . . . rather, he uses several different Bibles. However, I always have my preferred rendition accessible, so I have been simply reading from that directly.

I intended to simply choose maybe half a dozen days at random to read for the purposes of this review. I ended up spending nearly an hour poring over the book, skimming around the contents to titles that jumped out at me and now I cannot wait to delve into daily readings for 2012.

Each day is only one page, including the Bible verse and his commentary. Easy. Totally do-able for even the biggest of procrastinators. Do you have five minutes a day to focus on the words of Jesus? Pick up this book!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Note: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Saturday Evening Blog Post (1)

On the first Saturday of each month, Elizabeth Esther invites bloggers to join her Saturday Evening Blog Post. Writers link up their favorite post from the previous month, and then read what other bloggers have shared.

For December I chose my 7 Quick Takes post from the 9th.

Be sure to click over and check out Elizabeth's blog. She is a terrific writer, and I enjoy her posts a lot.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

7 Quick Takes Friday (18)

Welcome to another Quick Takes Friday hosted by Jennifer at Conversion Diary. Today's edition will be short and totally random.

1. Have you seen One Word 365? Here is my one word for 2012.

2. This week we didn't get to much math or Italian, but  we did hold an art show, play in the mud, and plan a January egg hunt. I love homeschooling.

3. Trying to do this challenge to get outside every day but so far, failing. The good news is the rainy season here should be over soon. Like March.

4. I am the anti-pack rat, and I will really put that to the test in the next few months before we prepare to move again. I plan to start by donating several ginormous boxes of baby clothes, since we won't be needing those anymore.

My sweet Agent A

5. Currently reading Psalms . . . still working my way through the Bible. Decided to attempt an online book discussion of Real Moms, Real Jesus. Helps that I've already read the book once, although it was a while ago. Also received my first BookSneeze book to review this week . . . more on that in another post. And I'm still trying to finish my next book rave.

6. Considering Take #5, I think I need to half my online time and double my reading time.

7. Agents E and J have been playing Max and Ruby a lot lately. Anybody want to guess who's who?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Just One Word

Stumbled upon this site in the wee hours of 1 January 2012 . . . I started the new year early because Agent A had a rough night, a cold with a slight fever left him unable to settle. (And then ultimately he puked all over both of us, par for the course with every cold for him.) Anyway, I've been reflecting on 2011 (who hasn't?) and what I'd like to do differently in 2012 (um, a lot), and I wanted to challenge myself to take this One Word thing seriously.

It's harder than it sounds.

Initially the fruits of the spirit popped into my head:
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I also considered think, respect, strength, and content.

On a less philosophical level, more in terms of action, I pondered write, purge, and move.

Agents (and Clubhouse Characters) last January

I contemplated on the many joys and trials 2012 will bring: moving from Europe back to the United States, a return to "normal" Navy life (which means the Agents and I will be on our own much more), a different state, a new house, more adventures in homeschooling, lots of travel (five trips planned so far) . . . and oh yeah, I'll turn 40 in there, too.

So, what do I really want for this upcoming year? What do I really need?

The truth is, I haven't been acting the way I want to act for some time now. I've been short with the Agents, distant with Hubby, and generally more tense than ever before. I look at some of my previous posts and think, hypocrite! You are not that person. I just reread all ten posts I have filed under "discipline" and wow . . . ugh. I could use some work. Perhaps I should change my blog title to Momma Who Needs a Complete Overhaul.

For 2012 I'm going to focus on creating a more pleasant environment for myself and my family. I'm going to make a conscious effort to be in the moment. I'm going to strive to live with purpose instead of slogging along.

My word for 2012 is . . . INTENTIONAL.

What's yours?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page and let me know what word you've chosen. Fellow bloggers may also like to link up at the One Word Community.