Earth Day Reading Fun

In a post for this past Sunday's Earth Day Carnival I shared a few things we do around here to encourage our children to respect the earth. Today I'm writing about one more way we foster this interest: reading books. (Because we love a good book party around here.)

Following are three children's books about caring for the planet we have truly enjoyed:

La Nostra Amica Terra by the Walt Disney Company, Italia

Our Friend the Earth (I couldn't find a link to an English version; not sure if there is one) is one of our Italian storybooks. Topolino and company, including the quirky Professore De Paperis (Professor Von Drake) discuss various ways they help to conserve water, energy, and resources. Clarabelle Cow carries reusable shopping bags. Minnie makes sure the water is turned off when she brushes her teeth. Daisy Duck takes her bicycle instead of riding in the car. A cute story with relatable characters that reinforces some basic environmental principles.

Agent A loves book time, too

Charlie and Lola: We Are Extremely Very Good Recyclers by Lauren Child 

We love Charlie and Lola around here; this is one of our new library finds. (Confession: I find it really difficult to hold back a fake British accent when reading this book aloud.) Lola doesn't understand why she can't just throw away the things she doesn't need until big brother steps in with a recycling lesson, which in turn they share with their whole school.

Where Does the Garbage Go? by Paul Showers 

This was one of the many books gifted to us last month by our downstairs neighbor. It's part of the Let's-Read-and-Find-Out Science series for ages 5-9. I must admit it surprised me when this became one of our new favorites . . . Agent E even "saved" it from the bookshelf in her room before the packers got to it on moving day. It covers how things "used to be," what is currently in our landfills, how new materials are made from what we recycle, and how we can avoid creating so much waste to begin with.

What earth-friendly books have you and your children found? Share your reading suggestions in the comments.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Top Ten {Tuesday}: The Co-Sleeping Edition

Joining up once again with Many Little Blessings for Top Ten {Tuesday}. Be sure to stop by and check out Angie's post and some of the other writers linked up. My previous top ten posts can be found here.

Today I'm writing about sleep. Specifically, co-sleeping with children and the many misconceptions that surround this idea. I've included some additional resources at the bottom of this post.

1. Co-sleeping and bedsharing are not the same thing. Co-sleeping simply means sleeping in the same area/room. This could be bedsharing (i.e., on the same sleeping surface, in the same bed), but it could also be a mattress on the floor, a bassinet nearby, a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed, or even a completely separate bed in the same room.

All three Agents sick with the flu (February 2011)

2. But it's dangerous! Um, not really. As with just about every other aspect of parenting, there's a safe way and and not-so-safe way. Check out the guidelines found here and here.

3. What about sex? Yes, what about it? Sex after children is always a matter of logistics: they pretty much need to be out of the house or sound asleep. Even if your children sleep in a separate room, they would still need to be asleep. And they still might wake up and interrupt you. If you are worried about them hearing you, move somewhere else. (I don't know about yours, but our house is really super cool in that it has more than one room.)

4. Children need to sleep alone. Why? Do you like sleeping alone? Do you see many other mammals sleeping alone? Exactly what "skill" does sleeping by yourself foster?

5. But they'll never be independent. Are you really concerned about your newborn being dependent on you for comfort and security? or your toddler? or your five-year-old? Because if so, you have way bigger issues than co-sleeping vs. separate sleeping.

Sleepy Agents J and A

6. They will never want to leave your bed or your room. Never? Do you personally know many parents of co-sleeping teenagers? I didn't think so.

7. Children should not "bother" you at night. It makes my heart sad when I read articles (or friends' status updates) where folks say they are "done" parenting at the end of the day. I understand the need for everyone to rest. I understand the need to have balance and time to yourself. But, parenting is a 24-hour-a-day gig. Period. You can't put your children away in the evening and take them back out the next morning. (This is true even if you're not co-sleeping, but I thought I'd throw it out there.)

8. If baby sleeps next to mom he/she will want to nurse all night long. This one may be true. Or not. Breastfed babies who sleep right next to the "source" may nurse more at night. Or, they might feel so comfy and secure next to mom that they may sleep longer stretches without nursing. All babies are different!

9. Parents (mom especially) won't get enough sleep if the baby is in the room all night. Personally, I've found the opposite to be true. I can respond to baby's needs quickly and quietly before anyone is even fully awake. The few nights I've had to haul myself out of bed with a sick baby/toddler, who wanted to nurse sitting up or just be held upright, I thought I would about perish from exhaustion the next day.

E and J snuggled up

10. What about SIDS? The fact is, most SIDS cases occur in cribs, not in co-sleeping (or bedsharing) situations. Check out this article from Dr. Sears. For another interesting look at the statistics, see this post from Peaceful Parenting. You may also want to note that most of those "kids are safest in cribs" and "co-sleeping is dangerous" campaigns are sponsored by the Juvenile Products Manufacturer Association (JPMA) . . . as in the folks who make cribs.

Have you co-slept with your children? What has your experience been like? What would you add to this list?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. For more information, check out these great resources:

Baby Sleep Resource Page at Peaceful Parenting

Baby Sleep Tips and Topics at Parenting Science

Co-Sleeping: Yes, No, Sometimes? at Ask Dr. Sears

Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory

Safe Co-Sleeping at Dr. Jay Gordon's website.

Sleep Problems at Ask Dr. Sears

The Benefits of Co-Sleeping at Attachment Parenting International

5 Ways We Teach Our Children To Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle

*** Welcome to the Earth Day Blog Carnival This post is part of the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Monkey Butt Junction. Each participant has shared their practices and insights of earth friendly, environmentally conscious, eco-living. This carnival is our way to share positive information and inspiration that can create healing for our planet. Please read to the end of this post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Happy Earth Day! ***

In honor of earth day, following are a few specific things we do around our house to reduce, reuse, and recycle the resources we use. Our children see us taking these simple steps every day. It's not anything special; it's just what we do. We also make sure to take the opportunity to talk to the Agents about why these actions are important. Even Agent A knows that certain items get put into certain bins. It's never to early to learn!

I can help with this

1. We reduce the amount of plastic bottles coming into our home. We live in an area (southern Italy) where the water quality is, um, less than stellar. Technically the water on the military base where we live has been deemed "safe" but it is still very hard water with a high mineral content and we choose to use bottled water for drinking and cooking. This, of course, is not ideal, and I wish it were not an issue at all, but alas, this is where we are. At first we were buying water in two-liter bottles. Now we have switched over to refilling containers with water from a reverse osmosis machine. It is much less expensive and we reuse the same three one-gallon jugs instead of buying new plastic bottles of water every week.

2. We shop with reusable grocery bags. We started doing this about four or five years ago, and it was such an easy switch I don't know why we didn't do it sooner. The initial cost per bag was maybe 50 cents? We lost one bag along the way, but the others have held up remarkably well. The biggest issue here is actually remembering to take them to the store! (Hint: If that's a problem, just put them back in the car after you unload groceries.) Now we also use them for transporting our giant stack of library books each week.

3. We reuse at art time. Agents E and J go through a lot of paper with the amount of coloring we do around here. Of course we always print on both sides, but beyond that we find creative ways of using materials from other sources. The round cardboard that comes out of the pizza box is great for painting. Old shoe boxes hold myriad supplies. Leftover paper the movers left lying around did not go to waste. We cut up old boxes no longer sturdy enough for reuse into small "palettes" for them to use while they paint. Toilet paper rolls become mini-telescopes or cute animal characters.

A little after dinner reading

4. We repurpose when we can. When we no longer needed the infant car seat we used for all three Agents, we figured we would take the harness out, remove the cover, and recycle the plastic base. But when we brought it inside to take care of that, Agent J immediately grabbed a book and plopped down in it. Soon she and Agent A were "fighting" over who got to sit in this new, cool lounge chair. So instead of getting rid of it we fashioned it as a little reading nook seat. Perfect for a book party.

5. We recycle paper, glass, metal, and plastic. Even with the best laid plans for reducing what comes into our home, we end up with a lot of paper products, glass bottles, and metal/plastic food containers. We are fortunate to be in an area that recycles just about everything. It saddens me when I go past trash dumpsters on base and see them overflowing with obvious recyclables. The little extra effort to bag up materials to be recycled and take them to the drop off spot is well worth it.

What do at your house to teach your children about caring for the environment?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Thank you for stopping by the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival! Please relax and take time to read these other great eco-living posts:

• You are a Child of the Earth - Using the Earth as their classroom, Patti from Canadian Unschool teaches her 4 children their spiritual connection to the Earth and she accepts that loving the Earth can get really, really messy.
• Cutting Out Paper - Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how she went from curiosity and concern to actually cutting out the use of paper towels in her household. She is proud to be "greener" as each Earth Day passes.
• The World is Brown - Debra Ann Elliot of Words are Timeless believes in keeping the Earth green, but because so many people inhabit the Earth it is turning brown because people aren't doing their part by reducing, reusing, and recycling.
• 7 Child And Eco Friendly Activities To Honor The Earth (Plus Some Environmental Books For Kids) - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her favorite books that help children become more aware of the importance of respecting and caring for Mother Earth. In addition, she hosts a guest post outlining seven child and eco friendly activities to honor the earth.
• 5 Ways We Teach Our Children To Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle - Valarie at Momma In Progress shares a few tips for encouraging young children to care for the earth.
• Little Changes - Big Results - Meegs at A New Day talks about how sometimes it’s the little decisions and changes that can lead us to find big results, and how she's baby-stepping her way to a more environmentally conscious lifestyle.
• Inspiring the Next Generation - aNonyMous at at Radical Ramblings hopes to inspire her daughter to live a green and sustainable lifestyle, in the same way she was inspired by her high-school science teacher, and talks about the changes her family are making towards this vision.
• Eco-Friendly Cleansers: Safe For the Environment, Healthy For Every Body - Rebekah at Liberated Family writes about safe and natural alternatives to toxic, household cleaning products..
• Lightening My Footprint with Cloth Nappies (Diapers) - Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the biggest eco-choice she has made so far, and why she is so passionate about it.
• Clutter Free for a Cause - At Living Peacefully with Children Mandy's penchant for decluttering and simple living cuts down on consumerism, taking less of a tole on the Earth.
• Eco-Parenting: Homemade Bug Spray - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares a homemade bug spray recipe that helps her family to enjoy the natural world while taking precautions against bug bites.
• Let the Scales Fall From My Eyes...Just Not Too Quickly - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about the discomfort of no longer being able to live in denial over how her choices affect the world around her.
• Fostering Love of Earth - Justine at The Lone Home Ranger instills a love of nature in her daughters by embarking on their first backyard vegetable garden together.
• Being in Nature - Carrie at Love Notes Mama knows that just being in nature is more than enough.
• 5 Ways to Pass Down Environmental Values to Your Children - Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares how easy it can be to instill environmental values in your children.
• Viva Portlandia - Amy at Anktangle writes about the place she lives and loves in: Portland. She describes the ways this green city makes it easy for her family to take care of our earth, and also the steps she's taking to further lessen her family's environmental impact.
• Conspicuous Conservationism - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction examines the phenomenon of eco-conscious behavior as a status symbol.
• Time for Radical Sustainability - Terri at Child of the Nature Isle ponders how she can model a truly sustainable lifestyle for her children and raise them in a way that their environmental consciousness is as natural as breathing!

A big thank you to all of the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival participants!

7 Quick Takes Friday (29)

Happy Friday, all. Please stop by Jennifer's blog and check it out (although she's not posting today). While you're there, read a few other posts linked up. Sometimes by the time I get to it, there's a ton of other posts already there, so I'll just pick a random set of other posts to click on (e.g., I'll decide ahead of time I'll go to posts 7, 8, 9 and read those and leave a comment).

I'm writing about writing today. Specifically, about sharing writing in places other than my own blog. Just kind of doing a little thinking out loud here, with a few questions for you at the end :-)

1. I wrote a post yesterday for Connected Mom: Not Perfect, and Not Trying to Be. 

2. Yesterday was also the third Thursday of the month, so I hopped along with Hearts at Home and talked about balance.

Sometimes you gotta get a little messy

3. Earlier this week I linked up a Top Ten {Tuesday} post at Many Little Blessings listing some of our most-used Italian vocabulary words.

4. Last weekend I added my favorite post from March to the Saturday Evening Blog Post. I chose 5 Unexpected Advantages of Homeschooling.

5. Of course last Friday was my 28th Quick Takes post.

6. I did write one (kind of lengthy) post in the last week that I did not link up anywhere: A Potty Learning Saga.

7. This weekend I will be joining yet another carnival, this time for Earth Day.

Ooh . . . this is fun

Questions for my fellow bloggers: Do you tend to write posts "just" for your own blog, or share them on other blogs through link-ups, blog hops, and carnivals? Do you think it has made a difference in your readership? Have you ever discovered another blog, perhaps one you wouldn't have given a second thought, but decided to follow it because of this? I realized I tend to do this a lot (both sharing posts other places and finding random folks to follow because of it) and just wondered if other bloggers do this as much as I do or if I need some sort of 12-step program.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Balancing Act

Time once again for Hearts at Home Third Thursday Thoughts. Be sure to check out Jill's blog and the other bloggers linked up at the bottom of this post. My previous HAH posts can be found here.

This month we're talking about self-care and balance. Three things came to mind immediately when I considered this topic and how I take care of me: alone time (doing pretty well), fitness (failing miserably), and appearance (eh, not so much). These are just a few areas that I know make me feel more balanced and together when I prioritize them. And as I'm writing this I realize how awful I've been lately at doing just that. But I'm going to share with you a few of my "ideals" when it comes to self-care . . . maybe it will motivate me to start taking it more seriously once again.

Practicing balance

Morning quiet time is absolutely necessary for me to stay sane. I like to be awake at least one hour before the Agents, even if this means getting out of bed at 5:00 a.m. or earlier. I use this time to make coffee, do some stretching, read the Bible, check Facebook (my personal page and my blog page), work on post drafts, and do additional reading. This gives me at least a little time to myself every 24-hour period. I don't particularly care if I get out of my pajamas or wash my hair every day. That can wait; sanity cannot. (Of course lately I've had a little shadow following me out to the living room, but usually she is pretty content to rest on the couch, read, or color while I do my thing.)

I used to be One of Those People Who Exercises Regularly. When preggo with Agent E, I still went to the gym five or six days a week. After she was born, I was back at it exactly six weeks later. Same with Julia; exercised through the entire pregnancy and back to the gym about a month and a half later. Ah, then came Andrew. I got pregnant with my third Agent when we were packing out our house to move from Virginia to Italy. I cancelled my gym membership and embarked on a whirlwind of living out of suitcases, cursing paperwork, making last minute visits to family, and traveling internationally with an almost-four-year-old and an almost-two-year-old. Fitness kind of went out the window. Once we settled in our new place not much changed; there is no childcare at the base fitness center, Hubby is gone 10-12 hours a day, and I'm not a Work Out at Home kind of gal. I'm hoping to change this when we move back to the states in a few weeks and I have access to a nice local YMCA with on-site childcare. Until then, slacking will continue.

Ooh . . . more balancing

I don't fuss about appearance, generally. Yet even this low-key stay-at-home mommy doesn't want to look disastrous all the time. Without periodic, um, "maintenance," my hair gets unruly (to put it nicely) and permanently pony-tail-shaped. My eyebrows take on a (scary) life of their own. My feet  . . . well, let's just say a lot of non-glamorous stuff going on there. Planning a "spa" day at least once every three to four months is a must . . . budget for it, put it on the calendar, and (most importantly) actually do it. I'm not talking anything super-expensive or an all-day event. I don't believe a haircut, eyebrow shaping, and pedicure once every three months is overindulging. (Although I'm doing the math and realizing it's been more like 7 months for hair/brows and almost a year since my last pedicure. Eek. Note to self: Take care of this ASAP.)

These things may not even matter to another mom. It's all about what recharges your batteries, not someone else's. For example, I don't do MNO, so the idea of hubby coming home from work early so I can gussy up and head out with my peeps (you know, if I had peeps) for a night of whooping it up (you know, if I whooped) does not appeal to me at all. However, if hubby got up on a Saturday morning and suggested he take the kids to the park while I grab my laptop and head to Starbucks for two hours of writing time while sipping on a fancy coffee, he would definitely win my heart all over again.

How do you find balance?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.


p.s. I'm also writing today over at Connected Mom. Check it out.

Not Perfect, and Not Trying To Be

In the past month or so, several posts have weaved in and out of my newsfeed with the same theme: the unrealistic expectations of motherhood. Variations have touched on why children need a mother who is truly present rather than a perfectionist, the oneupmanship of stay-at-home moms, and an attack on mommy bloggers for publishing idealistic portrayals of parenthood . . . as well as the typical tired mommy wars chatter.

If you believe what these writers (all women, all mothers) have to say, this generation of parents spends an awful lot of time comparing themselves to each other and coming up short.

But is it even true? Does it resonate with most women? Do moms see this kind of gibberish and honestly think I'm not good enough?

To read more, click over to Connected Mom.

p.s. I also shared a post today with the Hearts at Home blog hop. Check it out.

Top Ten {Tuesday}: Italian Vocabulary

Linking up again with Angie at Many Little Blessings. Stop by to check out her post and the other bloggers sharing there.

If you read Top Ten {Tuesday}: Moving On a few weeks ago, you know that we are preparing to make the move from Europe back to the United States after living in Italy for just over two years. Contrary to what I envisioned before we came here, I didn't learn much Italian during our time. (What little I do know I talked a bit about in this post.) However, some words and phrases will just stick with us (I think) because they are now just part of our everyday lexicon.

1. Andiamo. Let's go! Used a lot when traveling with the Agents and they start to walk at snail pace because they must investigate every. little. thing.

2. Basta. This means "enough" although depending on tone it can imply "yes, I've had enough to eat, thank you" or "alright, enough already, knock it off." I'll let you ponder how you think it might be used around here.

Senior Agents in Pisa (April 2011)

3. Bella/Bello. Beautiful, but also a standard greeting for babies and small children. Think "hey, sweetheart" or "hi there, sweetie."

4. Ciao/Ciao. Hello/goodbye. All the Italian lessons I read/completed always emphasized how casual this is, and that you should use the more formal salve/arrivederci with people you don't know, but that ended up being a bunch of hooey. Everyone uses ciao with everyone else.

5. Grazie/Prego. Thank you/you're welcome. It's just kind of automatic now. Prego is the verb for  "I pray" and it is also used to allow someone to go ahead of you in line or otherwise yield to someone else.

6. Numeri/Colori. We all know how to count. Even Julia knows some numbers in Italian, although she often gets confused and switches over to Spanish. (Thanks, Dora.) We also tend to refer to colors in Italian all the time now. They're easy and one of the first things we learned and taught the Agents.

7. Parti del Corpo. Parts of the body. Agent A is at the age that we're doing a lot of "where's your nose? where are your fingers? where are your feet?" kinds of games. He's learning both the English and Italian words. Grandpap (my dad) will have lots of fun with this when we visit this summer. (My dad's father was born in Italy, outside of Florence, and both of my grandparents knew Italian. My grandmother spoke to my dad in Italian when he was small, but stopped after he started school. He still remembers some, though, and has lots of fun hearing the Agents say what few Italian words they know.)

Momma and the Agents in Venice (August 2011)
(Note: Same matching outfits as the above photo)

8. Permesso. What you would say to someone if you were trying to get through (e.g., behind them on a crowded sidewalk) and you were being gracious. (There are other words for when you really need to get their attention and being polite is not a consideration, but this is a nice blog so we won't go there.)

9. Topolino. In most parts of the world, Mickey Mouse is just Mickey Mouse. In Arabic and French, he's Mickey. In Polish and Turkish, he's Miki. Germans and Russians both refer to him as Mikki Maus. Yet, in Italy he is Topolino, which literally means "little mouse." No doubt, La Casa di Topolino (book and TV version) will continue to be a favorite at our home. (And at least one Senior Agent is bound to say, "Ciao, Topolino!" when we pose for photos on our trip to Disney this summer.)

10. Va bene. The Italian "it's all good!" Used in place of it's fine, that works, no problem, whatever.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Saturday Evening Blog Post (4)

Welcome to the April edition of the Saturday Evening Blog Post hosted by Elizabeth Esther.

(A little late this month, but still fun!)

For this month's link-up, I chose 5 Unexpected Advantages of Homeschooling.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

7 Quick Takes Friday (28)

Time again for Quick Takes Friday. I skipped last week, and I can't for the life of me remember why, although it may have been sleeping-in related (I actually slept until 7:00 or later—gasp!—a few days last week. Since I usually do most of my writing prior to the Agents waking up, this didn't leave me a lot of time.)

Please remember to stop by and check out Jennifer's post and some of the other writers who participate.

1. Re-reading yesterday's post, I'm still kind of in awe at the amount of traveling we've done in the last two years with all those diapers. Will be nice to have the extra room in the suitcase next time around.

Art time silliness

2. Somehow I managed to get on a subscription list for a certain lame mainstream magazine. I think it may have been a couple of years ago through an Amazon purchase; some super-special deal where it was either free or like $3.00 a year for three years, or something ridiculous like that. Many months I just recycle it as soon as it comes in the door, but occasionally I'll take a look just for "fun." Anyway, I have asked them not to send it to me anymore and I'm still getting them. Wow, I must be crunchier than I thought, because this publication, which supposedly offers tips, advice, and information to parents of young children, is a complete load of crap. Seriously, it sucks. In this issue, for instance, I "learned" that I should not be concerned about speech delays, but I should dress my Agents like celebrity children. (I won't even mention the embarrassing number of pages devoted to fashion.) Also, spacing my children further apart would have made them smarter, but it's okay because I can spend exorbitant amounts of cash outfitting them with the perfect bedrooms. Ooh . . . and did you know that watching your baby/child sleep (you know, when you gaze at their chest rising and falling peacefully) and picking out clothes for your four-year-old both qualify as helicopter parenting? Me neither. 

Julia "resting"

3. Okay, I admit it: I find the Old Testament kind of . . . boring. I have read Genesis, most of Psalms, Ecclesiastes, everything from Daniel on, plus a few others. Now I'm back in Matthew, starting yet another New Testament re-read. I'm also still working through the devotional I reviewed here and a new book on following versus leading (in specific reference to Christianity). I'm using NLT, so I don't think the version is the problem, but I'm seriously glazing over here. Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.

4. My post from Tuesday of this week quickly became my most popular post ever. It was also really the first time I've gotten negative comments. (Only two, but still.) I do think it's a little weird, because I wrote it in like ten minutes and it wasn't even super-interesting. Lesson learned: more writing, less internal editing. Do you struggle with this? I wrote about my overthinking when it comes to my writing here.

5. Agents are surviving quite well with most of their usual creature comforts gone. They haven't been sleeping great, but the borrowed beds are squishy in all the wrong places and not very cozy. But so far so good. Starting to think about what will get packed in the suitcases. Soon we'll be doing another shipment of our remaining stuff and be down to what we'll be taking on the plane with us.

Moving day craziness

6. Booked tickets this week to visit family shortly after we return to the states. The Senior Agents are very excited. I still have trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that my parents have never met Agent A. (We last saw them a few days after I took the pregnancy test, at about four weeks.)

7. On a related note, I'm never sure how the Agents will react to relatives we haven't seen in a long time. (Even when we're not living on another continent) we tend to only visit a few times a year at most. I never force them to interact or show affection if they are unsure or feeling uneasy. The older the girls get, however, the more quickly they come around. (Not sure what Agent A will think of all of the attention. I'm guessing he'll be glued to me or Hubby to start.) In general, they tend to warm up to my dad the best. Probably because he will actually get down on the floor to play with them, pretend to eat all of their play kitchen creations, color with them for hours, and the like. The other grandparents tend to be more hands off.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

A Potty Learning Saga

We are well on our way to having another Agent out of diapers. Woo!

Wait a second, you may be thinking. Agent A is just a baby! Is this yet another article about "training" your barely walking toddler to use the toilet?

Don't worry; it's not. But what I'm about to share may surprise you.

I'm not referring to 17-month-old Agent A. I'm talking about turns-four-this-week Agent J.

I can so reach that

Oh, yes. This was not supposed to happen. I was never going to write a post like this. No way on God's green earth was I going to have an almost-four-year-old who had yet to master the toilet.

Yet, I do. Sigh.

A little backstory . . . I potty "trained" (I hate that term, but I still use it) Agent E back in February 2009, when she was 2 years, 9 months. I started the morning after Dear Hubby left for a 7-month deployment. I fully expected this to be one of our "projects" while he was gone, something to focus on, a goal to meet. I imagined sharing milestones with him via e-mail, weeks of chocolate bribery, a gradual move from pull-ups to underwear, and months of night-time diapers.

It took three days.

Surely the second kid, also a girl, who watched her big sister (and mother) use the toilet appropriately since before she could walk, would be even easier, right?

(Insert maniacal laughing followed by uncontrollable snorting here.)

Now, for those of you who do not know me personally and/or are not familiar with Agent J's antics . . . she is, shall we say, spirited. Extremely active, very physical, loves to get dirty/wet, and utterly fearless.

She also tends to be a wee bit stubborn.

I'm a barrel of fun

We first "tried" with Agent J when she turned 2 years, 9 months. (Because, it worked once; why mess with perfection, eh?) Except we neglected one teeny detail: Agent E and Agent J, while best buddies, are also quite different. J didn't want to stop playing and sit down. J couldn't care less about being in a wet or soiled diaper. J had things to do, and I was messing with her agenda.

So, we backed off until after she turned three. Certainly the potty learning process would be more appealing to her now.

Wrong again.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, we tried that. And that. And that, too.

To Agent J, it made no difference whether we used cloth diapers, disposable diapers, pull-ups, underwear, or naked time. We tried shadowing her, having her sit on the potty predictable times each day, leaving a potty in whatever room she was playing in, letting her sit there for as little or as long as she wanted . . . even using a reward system, which we never did for anything else. (This did not impress her, by the way.)

So we put the whole process on hold. Again.

Then 3.5 came and went and Momma started getting a little twitchy. Most people we know had no idea she was still in diapers; they just assumed based on her age that she passed that hurdle. We already decided not to send her to preschool since we were homeschooling Agent E, but we couldn't have even if we wanted to, as being out of diapers is required.

I resigned to the fact that maybe she would just have to train herself. Perhaps she would magically decide one day that enough was enough and give it a completely self-motivated try.

This did not happen.

So, last Friday we decided to plunge into the idea of diaper-free Julia once again. Most of our stuff is gone, including all but one rug (so we're basically down to all tile floors here . . . easier clean-up). We leave Italy in a few weeks and dread the thought of returning to the states with no progress. And quite honestly Momma is over the two in diapers thing. (E and J overlapped for 10 months; J and A are going on 18 months.)

"Relaxing" on our deck

We developed a plan: No diapers during the day (only at bedtime). Potty stays out in the family room or whatever room she's spending the most time in. Potty breaks at regular (we chose two-hour) intervals. Special Princess Underwear if she peed in the potty; plain boring underwear following accidents. Lots of positive reinforcement, praise, and rewards. (No; I don't think these things are evil or going to ruin her, and even though prizes as motivation haven't always worked in the past, we were a tad desperate.) 

Initial success was rewarded with a gelato outing. (Yes; we had to think that big.) Next we created a prize box . . . one prize for every success to start. After the first few days we started "building" a snowman out of a set of ten or so stickers. (They came with a Christmas card; I found them when we were packing.). A completed snowman = special day out this weekend, perhaps for bowling and pizza, which she will love. (Although it does make me giggle a bit to think that the girl who traveled to four continents and ten countries before her fourth birthday will be super excited by a visit to the base bowling alley.)

The first day we only had one success, and day two we had zero. But . . . by day four we had more successes than misses and she realized she had to go even if it wasn't a designated "time." And now here we are on day seven and still going strong . . . whew. We are far from "done" (and we haven't spent much time out of the house yet) but I can see the light, so to speak. There will be no "giving up this is not working" this time. I fully expect to only be packing diapers for Agent A on our next trip.

What I've learned: Don't wait for a "good" time, because there may never be one. I'd been warned not to start too early or too close to a major event. She showed signs of "readiness" (whatever that is) just before Agent A was born (at just shy of 2.5) and I ignored them, because no one in their right mind starts potty training their toddler when they're 36 weeks pregnant, right? Looking back, I should have just ran with it then.

Also, on the topic of "wait until your child is ready" . . . yeah, sometimes that's a load of bologna. Julia might not have been independently "ready" for another year. She needed coaxing. She needed this to be a team effort. She needed me to take it seriously and take charge a bit. And I don't see anything wrong with that.

One more spin around our very empty apartment

What did not help: Listening to stories about how other parents trained their kids by [insert random age here]. Ridiculous commenting threads that always have that one troll who "doesn't understand" how anyone could "let" this happen. People who suggested I should have used EC from the beginning because it worked so well for them. (Um, I'll let you know when I get that time machine up and running.) Books and articles that implied I would cause psychological damage by putting a little verbal "big girl" pressure on her. Mothers of older children making condescending statements how they wished they were in the potty days again. Anyone who voiced a tired version of, "don't worry, it will happen," "she won't go to college in diapers," or "she will learn when she is ready." 

Because when it's you, and you're on diaper duty 10-12 times a day between two kids, and you're washing cloth diapers every 48 hours, and you've had to change a child standing up in the bathroom stall one too many times because no changing table in the world is designed for a kid that big, and all of your friends' kids the same age have been out of diapers for over a year, you don't really give a flying chipmunk about such drivel. You are just. so. over. it.

What I will do differently with Agent A: You may expect me to say this experience has made me all zen about the whole process and I will totally relax the next time around and let A decide the pace, whatever that may be. Nope. I plan to leave the potty chair out at our new house (A will be 19 months when we move) and capitalize on his interest in it. (I should probably clarify this by stating that he already does show great fascination with it, and until the last week probably sat on it more times than Julia did. He has also been signing "change" and occasionally retrieving his own diapers or wipes for a couple months now.) I don't expect quick results, and if nothing happens I'm not going to stress . . . but I'm going to see where his obvious curiosity leads. (Yes; I'm aware I just made fun of this idea in the opening of this very post. I'm a walking contradiction; what can I say?)

Did you potty train an "older" child? What worked for you? What kind of (good or bad) advice did you hear?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.