Thursday, January 31, 2013

The One Where I Contradict Myself . . . Again

Parenting is an exercise in completely contradicting myself at regular intervals. Blogging allows me to illustrate this in a public forum. Case in point: Child care.

About three months ago, I wrote a piece called Babysitting Will Be Provided, which basically outlined the reasons I disliked short-term, temporary child care situations and rarely utilized them.

Guess what has happened since then?

We started attending a new church where—you guessed it—the Agents began going off to their individual children's church rooms and loving it. (They cannot wait to go each week, even willingly getting out of bed earlier than usual each Sunday morning to make it on time.)

I started taking the Agents with me to a new women's Bible study offered by said church where—you guessed it—the Agents hang out in the next room while I go off and do "Mommy stuff" . . . aka, grab a coffee and chat with other women from the congregation and then discuss a few chapters of our current book and then chat some more. (They tell me, Ms. Wendy's house is so much fun. Can we go there again?)

I followed up on a lead for a sitter (a college sophomore at a local university) and—you guessed it—set up a regular gig with her coming to the house while I "disappear" for about two hours every other week. (After the first time she came over, Agents were asking when she was coming back before she made it out of the driveway.)

Are you noticing a trend here?

It turns out, my children actually love these times and consider them just another adventure in their day. Maybe I underestimated their ability to handle the separation? their desire to do their own thing? how situations like the above were just as much of a positive experience for them as for me?

Now, Agent A still waffles a bit, and I respect that. Sometimes he hangs with Momma at church or the Bible study instead. I'm sure it's just a little more difficult for him to adjust than the girls because of his age. Which is fine. He can be Momma's little boy and stay with me as long as he wants. 

Because sooner than I think, he's going to be the one pushing me out the door.

9 comments :

  1. I know just what you mean by contradiction! Story of my life:)www.toshowthemjesus.com

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    1. I know! Just when I think I have something figured out . . . wham! I will stop by your site to visit. Have a great weekend.

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  2. I feel like my kids are enriched by spending time with other people that are not related to them. I think I'm a pretty good influence, but I certainly don't think I need to be the only influence they have in their lives.

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    1. I think the biggest issue for me was (and still is) that I don't know these people very well *myself* so in essence both my children *and* I are getting to know them together, so it's a bit more of a leap of faith, if you will.

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    2. I see your point. I've left my kids with a variety of different people, but not someone I didn't already know well. Admittedly, we didn't use sitter or child care all that much for the first kid, but by the third we've gotten to know our community pretty well. :)

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    3. I think it was different for our second and third as well because then they (the siblings) had each other, and in 95% of "babysitting" situations they are all together. A is very attached to his older sisters, and I think he feels better having them around for "security" if mom's not there.

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  3. I never left my DD with a sitter, at the church nursery, or Mother's Day Out. She either went with me everywhere, or stayed with Daddy or Grandma. She was more of a loaner though. She does things on her own now, but she still doesn't like being away too long.

    Joyfully,
    Jackie
    My favorite homeschool literature site.

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    1. My first was a bit of a loner, too. Even when we tried things like MDO with her, she would keep to herself and kind of do her own thing. Then somewhere around the time she turned four, she became very outgoing all of the sudden. She'll still tell me "don't stay away TOO long" but now she's all over social activities.

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  4. I feel like we have all had those moments where we think we will do something one way and then it turns out that we do it another...that is beauty of motherhood, right?! ;) Good for you for being open to changing your mind! :) Stopping by from SITS.

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