Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Never Say This To a New Parent

Please, please, please . . . just don't let these words leave your lips.

1. What do you do all day? Unless you want the answer to be “plot your untimely death.”

2. Is he/she sleeping through the night? I had people ask me this of my exclusively breastfed, days-old baby.

3. You hold him/her too much. You will spoil him/her. I’ll spare you my Attachment Parenting rant, nor will I share the myriad evidence that suggests it’s basically impossible to spoil a young infant with appropriate attention and love, and just say this: He is my last baby. If I want to hold him 24 hours a day, I will. And I will not regret a moment.

4. He/she is just using you as a pacifier. To pacify means to bring peace, so yes, I am bringing peace to my baby. Would it be preferable if he were chewing on a piece of rubber?

5. Was this one planned? None of your @#$% business. Besides,
Baby Agent A (~6 weeks)
he/she is already here. Do you really even want to go there?

6. How nice that you have a boy/girl since your other child/children is/are a boy(s)/girl(s). Yes, we were totally thinking of sending our third back if it were the “wrong” gender.

7. Anything related to discipline. No one wants your advice. Trust me.

8. You look tired. Because clearly the only appropriate answer to this gem is, “Thanks for noticing. So, you will be coming over every afternoon to entertain my older children while I nap with the baby? Great. When do you start?”

What would you add to this list?


16 comments :

  1. Love this! People can be so annoying. They say the silliest things with no thought at all. We should print this out and hand it to strangers at Target. ;) Glad to see you linked up!

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    1. Thanks. This was fun. I'll be linking up again for sure.

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  2. Hah!Amazing what people let fall out of their mouths. And like they're being original. Ironically I did a post today on things not to say to the parents of girls. Same. Asinine. Things.

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    1. Just popped over and read your post. Love. We hear many of those, too.

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  3. Yes, to all of these! I agree wholeheartedly the one about spoiling him/her aggravates me to no end! Stopping in from SITS!

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    1. Yeah; that's one of the worst. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Oh my Gosh, yes. Seriously, people say some of the dumbest things...and don't they realize they are dealing with someone completely sleep-deprived??!! ;)

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    1. I know! It took me until the third kid to even be able to compose a response to even a fraction of the stupidity.

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  5. People do say some of the silliest things...I remember once after my sister in law adopted her first child, someone said to her, you look so great for just having a baby, and she felt like she had to explain her child was adopted. I told her she should have just said "thanks!" and left it that.

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  6. #5...*died* LOL! I think I may be guilty of letting that one slip when talking to a colleague who recently had her 5th child. Her oldest is a year younger than me (28). I guess that was judgment and shock on my end. Oops. Love the list though. Love it! Andrea @ be-quoted.com visiting from SITS.

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    1. I've had people ask me that about all three of mine. All three! Thanks for visiting.

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  7. So stupid and so true. I think my personal pet peeve is when they tell you to enjoy it because it goes so fast. How original?! No one's ever said that to me! Crap. What do I do? Should I wake up my sleeping baby and be present with them all of the time?

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    1. Ugh. I hate that one, too. Are you supposed to feel bad if you aren't loving every minute? Because sometimes it is most definitely *not* enjoyable, and feels like life is moving at snail pace.

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  8. My response to #3 has always been: "No such thing as a spoiled baby...they are just well loved!"

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    1. This made me think of another one I should have included: "Is he a good baby?" This one makes me batty. By the time #3 came along, I started telling people, "No. He's excellent!"

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