What I Really Want To Say To Every New Mom I Meet

When hear (or read about) new mothers agonizing over infant sleep and eating schedules, I’m not sure if I want to hug them tight or smack some sense into them. 

(Not literally; that wouldn’t be nice. But you know what I mean.)

Whoever is feeding new mothers this line about how babies “should” sleep and “should” eat and “should” be able to [sleep all night, fall asleep alone, not eat at night, calm themselves] by an arbitrary age needs to stop. 

Like yesterday.

Yes, there are certain milestones that if not met might indicate a more serious issue. If something ever feels “off” to you or you are truly worried that something just isn’t right with your child, of course you should seek appropriate medical advice.

Guess what? My tiny baby always wants to be close to me and eats frequently and doesn’t sleep more than a few hours at a time is probably not one of them.

It’s sort of what babies do. It’s their Thing.

New Momma: You are not creating bad habits. Your child will not be dependent on you for all eternity because you [nurse them when they want, rock them to sleep, share a room, comfort them instead of letting them settle alone, feed them in the middle of the night] when they are infants. 

She will sleep all night. He will stop nursing. They will—get this—outgrow these needs when they are ready.

I don’t want to be one of those parents with the Just You Wait finger-waving proclamations because I know I hate them myself. 

But seriously. Dude. Calm down. 

Stop looking at it as a "problem" you need to "fix" and instead realize having a baby is a full lifestyle adjustment that will take time. Breathe. You've got this.

And if you still feel totally stressed over “getting” your precious little bundle to cooperate with your sleeping and eating expectations, there’s a simple solution. 

Have another kid (guaranteed to do everything the exact opposite of the first!). 

Kidding. 

Not really. It works.

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