Fearless

It’s been three months since I’ve added anything to this space. I thought maybe I was done blogging. I’d been at it off and on for just over six years, and maybe it had run its course. 

But in the interim, I realized I missed it. Not just the sharing and feedback part—although that’s nice, too—but the act of writing itself. It gave me a focus that I haven’t been able to replace. 

Maybe it’s an introvert thing, but writing stuff down {whether blog posts or books I want to read or to-do lists} has always given me a sense of calm. It’s how my brain processes things. 

Changing the settings on this blog to private and deactivating its related social media pages definitely crossed my mind. I mean, why couldn’t I simply get back to my introvert cave of writing just for me and not bother going public with it at all? 

I thought that approach might work for me, but the reality is I need the goal of hitting publish and knowing I’ve sent my words “out there” to potentially be consumed.

I might be writing something that someone needs to see. Maybe one tiny piece of what I have to say will matter. 

So, I’ve decided to revive this little corner of the world, but one big thing is going to have to change.

I’m going to have to stop being afraid.

I don’t like to ruffle feathers. Bold is definitely not a word I would use to describe myself. I like safe topics, safe spaces, safe comments. I edit and re-edit and re-re-edit everything I post. When folks disagree with what I’ve shared, my knee-jerk reaction is maybe I’m wrong about this.

The only way I can move forward now is to let go of that. Let go of perfection. Let go of doubt. Let go of fear.

Every post does not need to be a perfectly constructed masterpiece. Sometimes venting is okay. Sometimes being devil’s advocate is okay. Sometimes admitting truths about myself that I’ve feared owning up to is okay.

I gotta tell ya; it’s not going to be easy. I’m already looking at my list of future post ideas and cringing a bit. Can I really write about that? Can I really say that out loud? 

Honestly, it will probably take me a while to get to that point. In the meantime, you can expect homeschooling updates and travel plans and cute cat memes.

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