Momma in Progress

Revisiting My Most Embarrassing Post (Recycled Edition)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:51:00 +0000

My very first post about homeschooling on this blog consisted of shameful rant against the idea for no other reason than a comment on another blog or Facebook page irritated me.

(For the record, I purposely do not include this post in my collection under the tab Our Homeschooling Journey. It's that bad.)

In my defense, I wrote it in February 2011, the baby days of this blog, and it appears that only 50-ish poor souls were subjected to reading it.

The snarkfest included, among other points, this paragraph:

Ooh, your poor pathetic Corralled Sheep Children are in that schoolhouse prison while my Free Range Chicken Children paint, and listen to music, and go to the zoo and the museum, and explore the outdoors, and enjoy books and games, and use their imaginations, and travel, and other have fabulous learning experiences without being tied down to a suffocating schedule.

Here's a link to the original, if you'd care to read it in all it's embarrassing glory:

No Mindless Drones Here, Thanks

Don't mind me . . . I'll be over here huddled up in the corner . . . cringing.

Anywho, needless to say, a lot has changed since then.

I could go on and on about how much my philosophy has changed, and how life is so different now, and the very positive influence that giving homeschooling a chance has made on our lives.

However, maybe what I really need to say is that I have grown to appreciate that every family will have a view of educating their children that works for them, and it's not my place to evaluate what other people are choosing, whether that is homeschooling, or using an online academy, or private school, or public school, or Waldorf, or Montessori, or curriculum-based, or relaxed, or unschooling, or whatever.

I will still continue to do what works for my Agents and share our experiences along the way, because no matter how (or where) our children learn we really are all in this together.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

7 Quick Takes Friday (52)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 17 May 2013 09:00:00 +0000

Hello and happy Friday! Hope you all had a great week.

1. I realized I haven't done a Quick Takes in May yet. Sometimes I get on a roll and participate every week for a long stretch and other times several Fridays in a row sneak up on me and I have nothing prepared. Since my last 7QT I've written about potty learning and the older child (a guest post at Happy House of 5), our experience with sedation dentistry (for Agent A), and some things no one tells you about parenting. Also, Agent E turned seven, I threw in a Wordless Wednesday just for fun, and posted another BookSneeze® book review. Oh, and I published a piece at Connected Mom about saying yes.

2. Are you hearing the hub-bub about the "new" Princess Merida design? Full disclosure, we've never seen the movie, so we have no emotional attachment to this particular character. However, last I checked this is a cartoon, right? As in something you could choose not to watch and/or choose not to purchase merchandise representing it? Hmm.

3. A fellow military homeschooler shared this link about the German family denied asylum (you know the story) and I think it's a terrific explanation of the case.

This is Agent J's why-yes-it-was-absolutely-necessary-to-move-every-
DVD-we-own-into-one-large-pile face

4. Agent A might be the first two-year-old ever who will learn to sing the ABC song backward before forward. He does both, although while singing it forward he tends to start mumbling around S, and backward he tends to lose interest around F. Both Senior Agents can sing/say the alphabet backward as easily as forward. (So can Momma. Where do you think they get this weirdness from?) Oh, we may have had a little help from TMBG.

5. On a related ABC singing note, sometimes when Agent A gets to the letter P, he stops and cheers. Have I mentioned we're doing some potty training?

6. I'm really hoping to get another post up later today about our homeschooling week. It's been a while since I've hooked up with Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers for the Weekly Wrap-Up. (My last one was here.)

7. I've updated the tabs across the top of the blog (again). I think I am finally happy with them. It would be really great if someone would take a look at one of more of them (hint, hint) and let me know if they seem user-friendly and/or if you think anything else should be highlighted there.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Three Things I Said Yes To This Week

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Thu, 16 May 2013 19:39:00 +0000

Do you ever find yourself automatically vetoing something the kids want to do, not because it really is a bad idea, but because it might inconvenience you?

(raises hand)

I'm trying to make a conscious effort to not have a knee-jerk No! reaction when they want to go somewhere, or do something, or even buy something (within financial reason) that I might not be on board with 100%.

Click over to Connected Mom to read about three simple "yes" examples from our week.

Book Review: Is College Worth It?

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Sun, 12 May 2013 11:17:00 +0000

Today I'm sharing another BookSneeze® book review. My previous reviews can be found here. If you are a blogger and interested in how you can get free books to review, click here for more info.

After reviewing two parenting books in a row (and hating both of them . . . you can read about that here and here if you'd like) Is College Worth It? seemed like a nice change of pace. It's written by William J. Bennett (former U.S. Secretary of Education) and David Wilezol.

The very first line of the text: Two-thirds of people who go to four-year colleges right out of high school should do something else.

Let that sink in.

But, but, but . . . college is so important! How else would you secure a good job, a good paycheck, a good life?

Turns out, perhaps a college degree is not the panacea we imagined. Also, it's putting a huge part of the population into suffocating debt. Rather than being a well thought out plan, it is becoming simply a "default activity" of young people everywhere.

The book is divided into five chapters. I found chapter three (So Is It Worth It?) to be the most interesting/valuable of the book. It shatters the conventional wisdom that everyone who can should go to college, offers a realistic view of other options, tackles the issue of "majoring in dead ends," and addresses specific majors/schools by looking at return on investment.

At the end of the book the authors share 12 hypothetical scenarios with their advice and offer a list of schools they feel are worth attending.

A couple of caveats: First, if statistics make you twitch, you may find yourself glazing over a bit, especially in chapter two. Second, the authors are not particularly subtle in their conservative leanings, nor are they kind with their occasional digs against "liberals," which as far as I can tell means anyone who doesn't agree with them.

In spite of this, the book is a very good read, and I would definitely recommend it to not only high school juniors/seniors and their parents, but anyone considering a life change that might involve higher education. Your eyes will be opened to some things you have not considered, and the book is filled with very specific examples, so one is sure to resonate with your particular situation.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Note: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

5 Things No One Tells You About Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 10 May 2013 21:06:00 +0000

In honor of Mother's Day being celebrated this weekend (in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and most places this is being read, anyway), a short post of a few parenting truths you just don't know until you know. You know?

1. The idea of combining errands to "save time" becomes laughable. Remember when it made perfect sense (and saved gas!) to make all the stops on your to do list in one trip? The new reality is that getting everyone in/out of the car more than twice in one outing qualifies you for the parenting olympics. Keeping control of your sanity while corralling your band of small dictators through more than two destinations in the same morning earns you a gold medal. Our maximum is two events in any given venture, a third only if it doesn't involve getting everyone out of the car (e.g., gas station, drive thru).

2. People will comment on your children. I don't mean the inevitable parenting advice from childless strangers, although that's always barrel-of-monkeys fun, too. I mean that every. single. trip. to the commissary will involve someone asking if your kids in the cart are for sale. (My favorite response to this: Not right now, but ask me again at 8:00 p.m.) And heaven help you when some well-meaning person tells you that your offspring are well-behaved. That, folks, is a sure ticket to Insanity Alley at some point in the next few hours.

My three loves, in their element

3. You will take everything involving kids, even those you've never met, personally. You will constantly think that could be my kid. Tragedies on the news tug at you harder. Commercials will make you cry. Reading a touching story online will have the ability to reduce you to mush. Anything dealing with children—positive or negative, happy or sad—will affect you on some inexplicable, visceral level.

4. You will find your inner rock star/voice-over talent. Kids respond well to song, especially during transition times. And they don't care what you sound like. A song and the ability to do silly voices will carry you far. (Well, when your children are young, anyway. Once they are older you cross the line from fun into embarrassing, and that's a whole other story.) Personally, I happen to have the worst singing voice ever. But I do a mean Clarabelle Cow imitation. And that skill is priceless at say, teeth-brushing time.

5. Words will come out of your mouth that you never dreamed possible. Here's just a small sample of things I have said to my own children:

Don't eat that crayon; I just brushed your teeth.
Get out of the bidet; it's not a water fountain.
Everyone help clean up. Start by eating these Cheerios on the floor.
No one is allowed to touch anyone else's butt. It's a rule.
Don't lick your siblings. That's also a rule.
Yes; you have to wear underwear.

Have a wonderful weekend, my fellow mommas.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Our Experience With Sedation Dentistry

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 10 May 2013 00:04:00 +0000

One day shortly before Thanksgiving, I held Agent A upside down while tickling him and noticed two dark spots in his mouth. My immediate thought was I hope that's crayon. When it didn't rub or brush off, I knew I had to get a better look at those teeth.

More upside down laughing time for Agent A . . . and he finally kept his mouth open long enough to confirm those spots did in fact look like cavities.

Ugh.

After some Googling and asking around for recommendations, I called a pediatric dentist. Of course, it was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and they were closing the office Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. They asked if he were in any pain, and I told them no . . . I had just discovered the spots and didn't even know how long they had been there. So we set up an appointment for the following Tuesday.

The visit went about as well as can be expected for a newly two-year-old's first dentist visit. (Specifics can be found in this post I wrote for Connected Mom, if you're curious.) The dentist confirmed that he did in fact have two cavities, as well as the very beginnings of a third.

Ugh, again.

We talked options given his age and level of cooperation (read: none). This dental office will not do any type of restraint (i.e., papoose board) for kids. Not that I would have agreed to that anyway. Nor did he think "laughing gas" alone would allow him to complete the procedure effectively. Which brought us to our only realistic option: sedation. (Of course, I guess technically "not doing anything" was also an option, but given that he will likely have these baby teeth for another four to five years that didn't seem very realistic.)

After discussing the details, we scheduled an appointment for the end of February. Because that was the next available sedation appointment, and it was nearly two months out, I also set up an intermediate appointment for him just to keep an eye on things, and was told to bring him back in if he started showing any signs of discomfort.

Two nights before the procedure was scheduled, Agent A got sick. Now of course this was during our mid-winter, Agents constantly passing around germs, season of illness that also included this week. So, not surprising, but the timing couldn't have been worse.

I called the pediatric anesthesiologist's office and explained A's symptoms. They cancelled. They simple could not take any chances with putting a child under who was not feeling 100%.

Sigh.

Of course then the doubts began. Maybe he fell sick at that exact time for a reason. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe I should have asked more questions. Maybe it wasn't as safe as they said. Maybe I should be more anxious about this than I am.

Maybe I should chill out.

After discussing it ad nauseam on my Facebook page as well as with friends and a few Facebook groups I belong to, I started to relax. Honestly, when it came right down to it, I trusted the dentist, and I just had to have faith that this anesthesiologist with decades of experience working with children knew what he was doing.

The only problem? Now were were rescheduled for April . . . another two months of waiting. (The pediatric anesthesiology team works with dentists all over Florida and Georgia, and they only work with that particular pediatric dentist office once every eight weeks.)

Wait we did, and the day finally arrived. We followed the no food/drink rules by having jell-o and apple juice for breakfast (early) and then fasting after that. The Senior Agents and I did as well; there was no way I could feed them or myself if I couldn't feed A. We all took one for the team. (Okay; Momma cheated and had coffee before anyone else was out of bed. Shhh.)

Once we actually arrived at the office and checked him in and weighed him, I was totally calm. I think it was one of those situations where thinking about it is like a thousand times worse than actually doing it. The girls played in the waiting room while I chatted with the nurse and then the anesthesiologist. Then a little more waiting and it was time.

(Side note: The doctor doing the anesthesia totally made me think of Dr. Sears . . . a kind, older gentleman—grandfatherly type—who clearly has a love of and a rapport with the little ones. Made me feel a lot better.)

The anesthesiologist came back out and chatted with A for a bit. He had me hold him while he gave him a little poke in the arm. This was just to make him sleepy enough that he wouldn't be aware of being moved to the back. He fell asleep in my arms within five minutes. At that point I passed him off to the anesthesiologist and he was so out of it he didn't protest at all. He carried him back and I went to check on the girls, still playing in the other part of the waiting room.

Not long after that, much to the girls' excitement, Dear Hubby arrived to pick them up. (Hey, look; it's Captain Daddy!) He had a meeting at work that ended right around the time of our appointment, so we had arranged for him to meet us there so he could take the girls home, since I didn't really know how long we'd be. He moved their car seats to his car and they all headed to lunch. (I really thought the Senior Agents would complain more about not eating, but they were troopers.)

Back to just me waiting . . . I was a little bummed that I couldn't get online on my Kindle (they have free wireless, but it wasn't cooperating), but I did have a book to read. Dentist came out once to let me know they had done x-rays and didn't find anything else, so they would just be doing the procedures we discussed and he'd be done in less than an hour.

Honestly, he was in recovery before I knew it. I headed back and found him sound asleep on one of the dentist chairs and the nurse sitting with him. After a few minutes, he seemed to be coming out of it, so I very gently picked him up and rocked him. I had to hold his head up . . . he was as wobbly as a newborn. A three foot tall, thirty pound newborn. It wasn't long before we were ready to go.

One of the staff walked us to the car. I had already thrown my backpack in the car, as well as A's shoes, and had a blanket ready for him just in case. (It was really warm that day, but sometimes folks feel cold afterward.) I strapped him in to his car seat (after explaining to him that Daddy had taken E and J's seats; the first thing he noticed was that they were missing) and we were on our way.

I expected him to doze off. No. The whole way home he complained that I hadn't put his shoes back on. I need my shoes, Mommy. Where my shoes? I put on. I want shoes. Why you take my shoes?

Yep; he was fine.

Once home we did have to keep a close eye on him and not let him walk around on his own; he was pretty much falling over his own two feet. (Confession: It's actually kind of funny to watch your two-year-old walk around looking like he had a few too many.) Within an hour or two, he was totally fine and had a snack and some water. By later that evening he was more than ready for dinner and even played in the back yard with sisters a bit.

That night I nursed him and he drifted off to sleep peacefully, snug in his bed with Lambie (who, of course, had also accompanied us to the dentist).

My happy, smiling boy

In sum, if I had to do it all again, I would make the same choice. They did x-rays, a cleaning, filled three cavities, put sealants on the molars, and did a fluoride treatment. There is no way he would have been calm and cooperative enough for all that. I'm still kind of bummed that my baby ended up with cavities at two, but I feel better now that we've taken care of it.

He has no idea I wasn't with him for the entire procedure. Before we went in he told me, Dr. Ross fix my teeth. Mommy hold my hand the whole time.

And in his mind, that's exactly what happened.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Top Ten {Tuesday}: Plans for Our Next School Year

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Tue, 07 May 2013 09:00:00 +0000

Linking up today with Angie at Many Little Blessings for Top Ten {Tuesday}.

Because I enjoy procrastinating in the present and idealizing the future, I've been thinking a lot about moving into our next homeschool "year" (which is really kind of misleading because we go year-round, so not as much of a clear-cut division). We're finishing up first grade here and gearing up for a new adventure with a second grader and a kindergartener. Oh, and a rascally little toddler just to make things extra interesting.

Following is a summary of my brainstorming so far. My intention is to "plan" (ha!) most of this around 7-year-old Agent E, with 5-year-old Agent J completing similar age-appropriate material as do-able. (As excited as Agent J is about being An Excellent Kindergarten Student, I don't have to report anything for her this year—Florida's homeschooling requirements start at age 6—so we're really just all about fun for her.)

I should add here that as proponents of child-led learning this list was created with lots of input from Agent E. Truth is, this "plan" is mostly for my benefit, as I like to have a general idea of the kinds of things we might be doing so I know what kinds of books, printouts, and other resources to be on the lookout for. In reality, though, we'll end up doing as much or as little of each as Agent E determines, and probably change course at least half a dozen times. As Dear Hubby likes to remind me, a plan is merely something to deviate from.

1. Bible study. We started out strong with this for Agent E last year (and her K year) but then kind of fizzled. She's beyond the children's Bibles, both in terms of interest and reading level, but not quite ready for the full text. I'm thinking about getting her a Spark Bible, recommended by friends. I would like to start attending a nice ELCA church again . . . we've kind of slacked off, but that's a whole other post. (It did get a mention here, though. And here.) I'd like to focus on New Testament stories, parables, and the life of Jesus. Also, talking more about the church year in general.

2. Classical music. This is one of Eva's choices of what to study for second grade. We listen in the car all the time (currently on Chopin, which both girls have declared is "too much piano and not enough other stuff"). I think she will enjoy learning more about the composers and when they lived, as well as the instruments used. Plus, it fits in with that whole Little Einsteins theme. (Also, have I mentioned that Fantasia is one of their favorite things to watch?)

3. Math. We've recently started working more on the concepts of place (hundreds, tens, ones) and borrowing, so moving on to two/three digit addition/subtraction. She's also big into multiplying and dividing and is totally one of those kids who actually likes learning the times tables. A couple of other things I'd like to address further this year would be working with money, fractions, and measurement. We've already touched on those, but not a whole lot.

4. Reading. We don't really consider "reading" as a school subject, at least not in the way I remember it from elementary school. I recall being assigned different stories and books and then having to either do vocabulary and spelling lists and/or answer a bunch of obscure questions about what I read. Here it's just something we do because we like it. Of course, I'll have Eva read to me sometimes so I can see what's going on with her reading level and get a better idea of what kind of books she might enjoy, and we talk about what she reads, so I know she's "getting" the story, but I don't really tell her what to read or what not to read. Although I do usually pick out many of the library books that come home with us, because even the children's room is somewhat overwhelming. She does pick out her own chapter books, though. One tool we use to get ideas is the Book Wizard at the Scholastic website.

5. Safety. This one is hard for me, because I don't want to make her paranoid, but at the same time I feel like there are things we haven't addressed as well as we should. Some issues, like personal space and her body being her own, have naturally come up as we continue our current study of the human body. She's pretty good with basic safety around the home. And we've talked about what to do if she's separated from me in a crowd (like all those Disney trips). I just . . . ugh. I don't know. I want to be realistic but not scare her. How do you balance teaching young children about safety and maintaining the attitude that her world (and the people in it) are mostly good?

6. Spanish. I know; this was an epic fail on our last attempt. However, both girls have been asking about it again, so we're going to give it another shot. I have no idea how I'm going to pull this off just yet, but I envision it will involve lots of songs on CD from the library and a potential Little Pim purchase. At one point we had post-its all over the house with Spanish words for things, and they seemed to be amused by that. If you've studied Spanish with your students, and have any good websites to recommend, that would be awesome.

7. Weather. This was part of our original plan for first grade but it got pushed out by ocean life. However, it's making a return, so we'll see how it goes. She's already obsessed with checking the weather (not that she got that from me—cough, cough) and The Weather Channel is one of the apps loaded on "her" Kindle. (If you're curious, here are some other apps she loves.) I think she'll enjoy learning more about the how and why behind the weather she sees. Probably would be a good time to talk about emergency preparedness (Is that a word? I think so, but it looks weird now that I wrote it.) given that hurricane season is approaching.

8. World geography. For E's kindergarten year, we did a country a week as part of our lessons, including looking at the map, flag, language, and some random fun facts (e.g., most common animals that live there). We also had a chance to visit many of the countries we studied. I think I'd like to expand on this with more of a big picture view, and add more about the differences and similarities in the continents, landmarks, different types of land areas and bodies of water, etc. Both Agents E and J would probably enjoy continuing the country a week trend, too. Maybe we'll work through in alphabetical order this time.

9. Writing. We really haven't focused much on writing this past year; we've been more about reading. She is learning to write in cursive (her idea) and can already read it pretty well. Knowing what I know about Agent E, she'd probably love learning more about why sentences are put together the way they are, punctuation, parts of speech, etc. One thing I definitely want to do is get her a journal to write in daily (or whenever she likes). I'm thinking a real, actual, hardbound, pretty book—not just a notebook, but instead something a little more special.

10. Etc. etc. etc. Since I need one more item to make this a neat list of ten, I guess I'll go with whatever else comes up. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and it's highly likely the specific topics of music, Spanish, weather, and geography will only get us through the first couple of months, as we tend to basically do really long unit studies until we feel we are "done" and move on to something else. Also, we find that many other subjects "sneak in" even when we don't account for them specifically (e.g., geography studies will often lead to history questions, reading and writing naturally lead to spelling and vocabulary questions). Plus we'll talk about holidays as they come up. And I haven't even mentioned art. or field trips. or P.E. (Okay; this list probably could have been a lot longer than ten.)

Do you have plans for the next homeschool year? Share in the comments. (If you've blogged about them, leave a link!)

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Agent E Is Seven (Wait . . . What?!?!)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Sat, 04 May 2013 09:00:00 +0000

In honor of Agent E's 7th birthday (!), a photo post of the last year.

On her 6th birthday

Checking out the new back yard

Chilling with her cousins' puppy

Loving on Agent C

Some favorite things: Park time, dress up, reading

Latest Disney trip

Fun with mud

Mmm . . . cake

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

My Sixth Wordless Wednesday: Climbing

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Wed, 01 May 2013 12:17:00 +0000

Guest Post at Happy House of 5

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:51:00 +0000

In my pre-parenting fantasy of things that were never going to happen, having a three-year-old in diapers was pretty high on the list. And no way on God's green earth was I going to have a four-year-old who had yet to master the toilet.

Yet I did. And we both lived to tell about it.

I'm sharing our story of Potty Learning and the Older Child today at Happy House of 5. Please hop over and check it out. It's part of a series (Potty Training in Our Happy House) so you'll want to click on the others linked there, too.

7 Quick Takes Friday (51)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:35:00 +0000

Linking up again this Friday for 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

1. So, it only took me two years, but I finally put a little 7QT graphic in my side bar. It's a picture, not a blog button, which is why it's above the others a little and much larger, but it's there. (Note to self: Ask Jen why she doesn't have a blog button. I mean, I don't have one either, but she has a bazillion more followers than I do. Roughly.)

2. I wrote a post on Tuesday for World Immunization Week. The mostly positive feedback pleasantly surprised me. Although, the few quasi-negative reactions lead me to believe that some folks clearly have vastly different definitions of the words credible and research. (Don't confuse me with facts!) Of course I am well aware there are exceptions to everything, and I am also aware that someone is always going to disagree no matter what the actual evidence is. That doesn't mean that every issue has two equally valid opposing points of view. Three words: Flat. Earth. Society.

3. Discovering just how useful the laundry room utility tub can be. The last two homes we lived in did not have one. Here, it's kind of a necessity . . . mostly for rinsing out muddy clothes. We also use it as a laundry basket. It's right next to the washer, and our house is all on one floor, so it's very easy to just toss clothes in there. Our extra laundry baskets now serve a higher purpose as stuffed animal and dress-up paraphernalia receptacles.

I may want to rinse these clothes out before putting them
in the washer

4. May I complain about the Internet? Specifically, folks who pass along posts (I'm thinking primarily Facebook memes and "did you know?" kinds of things) without giving a moment of thought as to whether or not it's a good idea, true, helpful, or makes any remote sense whatsoever. I'm not saying you need to back up every share with a dissertation, but for the love of all that is holy in the universe at least run it by Snopes first.

5. Julia is ready for Kindergarten. Now. She wants to start immediately, and does not want to waste time. As I shared on my personal Facebook page yesterday, she told me with typical Agent J enthusiasm, I am going to be a GREAT Kindergarten student! How can I say no to that?

6. A couple of nights this week, I've woken up in a bed not my own and had absolutely no recollection of how I got there. Twenty years ago, this would have been scandalous; now it's just pretty much life with a co-sleeping family. Agent A has been going to extremes: either wanting to nurse all night or sleeping 6-7 hour stretches without a peep. Agents E and J have both been having dreams that wake them up. At least we've been around the block with this musical bed thing enough to know it doesn't last forever, and once everyone is back in their own sleep space and things are back to "normal" our selective memories will forget these extra nights of sleeplessness . . . just like they always do.

An old favorite of the Agents sleeping
(February 2011)

7. Side note on bedsharing: I love cuddling up with Agent J, but she moves a lot while she's getting comfortable, and her head seems like a concrete block when it's coming toward you. Plus she's tall and thin, so she's all pointy arms and legs. It's like sleeping next to something that's a cross between a bowling ball and a rotisserie chicken.

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Top Ten {Tuesday}: World Immunization Week

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 09:00:00 +0000

It's World Immunization Week and so today I'm sharing ten sources of vaccine information. As always, I'll be linking up this top ten list at Many Little Blessings.

Let me just say right up front that I understand (a) vaccines are not a perfect panacea, (b) certain groups of people should not receive vaccinations for medical reasons, and (c) serious side effects (while rare) do exist.

However, let's be real. We're not talking legit medical conditions and one-in-a-million reactions. Most folks who refuse vaccines are relying on rampant misinformation.

When I hear and read things like "I don't want to pump all those toxins into my child" and "it's just too many too soon" and "it's better for them to get the disease and develop immunity naturally" and (my personal favorite) "herd immunity is a myth" I seriously want to bang. my. head. into. a. brick. wall. Repeatedly. And don't even get me started on the words "big pharma" because I will probably start twitching.

No credible medical or scientific organization in the world is against routine vaccination.

This family is fully vaccinated. Adults included.

The following links include the main pages for immunization from some of the most respected medical communities (Centers for Disease Control, Mayo Clinic, National Institutes of Health, etc.) as well as a few articles addressing frequently asked questions, erroneous claims, and myths.

9 Vaccination Myths Busted. With Science!

Centers for Disease Control: Vaccines & Immunizations

Childhood Vaccines: Tough Questions, Straight Answers

Community Immunity ("Herd" Immunity)

Toxic Myths About Vaccines

Every Child by Two

Healthy Children: Immunizations (from the American Academy of Pediatrics)

National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases

Voices for Vaccines

World Health Organization: Immunization

Please help spread the word about World Immunization Week by sharing this post or one of the articles linked.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. I've added several of the links in this post to the Great Online Resources tab across the top of this blog.

Agents' Birth Stories (Recycled Edition)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:55:00 +0000

Linking up again with Adrienne at The Mommy Mess for Going Green (aka, recycle an old post). I originally posted this story about the Agents' births in January 2011.

Baby #1: The Early One

While pregnant Agent E, I worked as a copyeditor (from home) forty hours a week. On a Wednesday afternoon about 3.5 weeks from my "due date" I made plans to wrap up all the projects I was currently involved in, pass them off to my boss, and tie up any loose ends with invoicing, paperwork, etc. before that weekend. I wanted to be able to completely relax and enjoy those last few weeks of pregnancy, and I knew I had no intention of working again for at least several months after the baby arrived.

That night (well, technically the next morning) my water broke at 2:00 a.m. After contemplating waiting for contractions to start vs. just going to the hospital to have things checked out, Hubby and I determined that we better make the drive now rather than waiting a few hours and risk getting stuck in traffic. ("Rush hour" near a Navy base can be as early as 5:00-6:00 a.m.)

I was leaking amniotic fluid but having no contractions and only dialated two centimeters. After several hours of "wait and see" we started an induction. I asked for an epidural after the contractions started to kick it up a notch, but I think it was a bit too much, because I basically felt nothing through the remaining labor, including 2.5 hours of pushing.

I hemorrhaged immediately following her delivery, had the placenta removed manually, received more drugs to control the bleeding, and ended up with a D&C. Oh, and as a bonus, the meds they gave me to control the bleeding have the awesome side affect of causing almost instantaneous vomiting and diarrhea. Because what’s more fun after 20 hours of labor, right?

I was pretty much completely wigged out, in fact I think I passed out at some point while they were working on me to control the bleeding. I don’t even remember hearing her first cry. Luckily my husband was with her. The time just after her birth is a blur for me, and I don’t think I stopped shaking enough to hold her for at least two hours.

Overall, it was not a great experience. (Well, except for that whole getting to meet Agent E part. That part was pretty cool.) I could go on and on about how mean the nurses were and how the lactation consultant quit that week and they had no one to help me breastfeed, but let's just move on to the next story, shall we?

Agent E, thrilled to be heading home

Baby #2: The Fast One

With Agent J, I had my bag packed about ten minutes after I peed on the stick, hence we have another 36 week, 6 day arrival. This time I was going to be prepared. Labor with J started at exactly 39 weeks. Of course, I had no idea I was actually in labor, although I had some cramps and didn’t feel great earlier that day.

I remember feeling kind of silly calling my friend who was coming over to watch Agent E, thinking I’m going to get to the hospital and they’re going to tell me to go home. I honestly wasn’t sure those twinges meant anything or not. I was under the assumption that (1) contractions should be closer together before you go to the hospital, and (2) they should hurt, which at that point they did not. Good thing my also currently pregnant friend convinced me that she would just come over and pick me up and drive me to the hospital “just to be sure.” She also helped me get a hold of Hubby, whom I was having difficulty reaching at work. (He met us at the hospital; he was just a few minutes away.)

My water broke shortly after walking into the hospital, and someone offering me a wheelchair to get the rest of the way up to L&D. Once there, they had no rooms. Seriously. The receptionist did not believe me when I told her I was about give birth right there in the waiting room. Maybe because I wasn't screaming in pain or hysterical, I don't know. So, I got hysterical . . . flipped out on the triage nurse and they finally saw me. When the baby was crowning.

So, yes; by the time I made it into a room I was in excruciating pain and ready to have a baby. (Side note: I would not recommend unintentional natural childbirth. I was completely overwhelmed with pain to the point of not being able to think straight or be present with what was happening.) With only a few pushes, Agent J appeared. This time definitely heard the first cry (well, screaming).

Agent J's delivery also ended with me hemorrhaging, and they did another manual removal of the placenta. However, time I had no anesthesia. Just in case you need a visual, removing the placenta manually involves a doctor sticking his/her hand up inside of you and detaching an internal organ. It would have been nice to not feel this part.

Unfortunately, this didn’t completely “work” and a piece of the placenta remained inside. I ended up hemorrhaging again, but not until two weeks later, at home. This was probably the single scariest experience of my life. Imagine being home alone with a two-year-old and a two-week-old, suddenly feeling something gushing out of you (like when your water breaks) but looking down and realizing it's blood. Long story short: Momma goes into shock, some very disoriented phone calls, a little ambulance ride, and an overnight in the hospital.

~ 2 month old Agent J chilling in the swing

Baby #3: The Relaxed One

Then came my third pregnancy, Agent A. I opted to have an induction for several reasons: First, given my history of excess bleeding during and after delivery, I wanted to be extra cautious. I also tested positive for Group B, and wanted to have the antibiotics started prior to labor beginning. Also, after Agent J's birth, I knew I wanted to have some pain relief during labor so I could enjoy being in the moment.

Because of these factors, I scheduled an induction for 39 weeks. I was able to receive the entire course of antibiotics, as well as have an epidural in place before breaking my water to begin the induction. (I was already having contractions according to the monitor, but still couldn’t feel them.) It only took a short while and minimal drugs to jumpstart labor, and I was thrilled to be able to communicate with the doctors and nurses and my husband instead of being doubled over in pain.

I could still feel pressure, and I knew exactly when it was time to push. Only took three or four pushes to get that beautiful baby out, and the midwife gave him to me immediately. I did not get to hold my girls right away because of all the bleeding complications, and this was the most incredible feeling . . . a brand new baby laying on you even while the cord was still attached. This time, the placenta delivered naturally after about 25 minutes, and came out in one perfect piece.

For me, having a planned induction was a fabulous decision that resulted in the labor and delivery I truly wanted. And if there were to be more Agents I would totally consider it again. (There won't be, BTW. We covered that here.)

Agent A at ~ 4 weeks

In summary, I think all three Agents' personalities are a bit like their births. Agent E: Ahead of the game with everything. Agent J: A little crazy and waiting for no one. Agent A: Sweet and patient and calm.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

7 Quick Takes Friday (50): Things We Don't Stress Over

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:26:00 +0000

Today is my 50th 7 Quick Takes post. Of course, it took me nearly two years to participate that many times; I started following Jen's blog and playing along on 29 July 2011. (My very first 7QT post can be found here. It's quite lame, but does include an adorable photo of beautifully squishy 9-months-old Agent A.)

I'm also linking up with Christian Mommy Blogger's Fellowship Fridays. Hence the two cutesy buttons today.

As I wrote in a previous post about sharing one's parenting philosophy, I try really hard not to fall into the trap of if only you knew more, you'd agree with me. So consider this my disclaimer for this post. I'm not writing this in hopes that you'll find my ways brilliantly compelling and immediately change your views to match mine, but more as a way to get to know me and my thoughts better.

Without further ado, seven things we do not stress about at our house:

1. Food. We are not perfect when it comes to eating, but we are not exactly miserable failures either. As far as food goes, I'm a huge fan of the old adage, everything in moderation. We eat (almost) every meal together. We don't enforce a one-bite rule, or a clean-plate rule, or make our kids eat/try something they don't want to. They might be full, or not like the taste/texture, or have an upset stomach, or just not feel like eating right at that moment. And that's okay. All three Agents have gone through phases where they eat like ravenous wolves and do a complete 180 and eat basically nothing for days. I make the food. They choose to eat it. Or not. There's always pb&j or fruit or yogurt or whatever later on if they change their mind. We also don't avoid any particular type of food (e.g., meat, dairy, wheat) or follow any specific diet. Here, food is just food. It gives us energy to do the things we want to do.

2. Praise/Rewards. I first wrote about this over a year ago, and I still feel the same way so I won't rehash here. This is one of those topics that people tend to get all crazed up about, citing studies and tossing out big psychobabble-y words. I know some will defend to the death the wickedness of even the occasional "good job" and reward charts and stickers (which we don't do, by the way, because they don't work for our children) but honestly people, first. world. problems.

3. Princesses. Are you aware entire books, websites, and blogs exist solely focusing on how to "shield" your daughter(s) from the diabolical influence of the princess culture (whatever that is)? We consider princesses for what they are: one type of character of many that we enjoy reading about, watching, or pretending to be. We focus on the fun, imaginative parts without imposing adult interpretations and baggage. And here's the crazy part: They know it's just a story and not real. Shocking, I know.

Halloween 2012

(Side note: Doesn't anyone else ever notice that it's often the man in the story who is looking for a wife to complete him, typically at the urging of his own family? Everyone in Prince Eric's kingdom can't wait to marry him off. Prince Charming's Dad throw's an elaborate ball just to encourage a little matchmaking. Prince Phillip's father was more than a little helicopter-ish in that area as well. Why doesn't anyone ever have a problem with that?)

For the record, I see nothing wrong with little boys enjoying the princess stories, too. Agent A is fascinated with the books, movies, and "meeting" the princesses themselves at Disney. He tells me, I like Snow White. She one my peeps.

4. Reading. We love books around here. All kinds of books. We don't label certain books as being more valuable than others. Google something like "book lists for children" and roughly a bazillion options pop up of books that kids "should" be reading, by subject and grade level. Others will insist you never present a watered-down version of any story, instead reading it aloud or waiting until your child is old enough for the unabridged version. (We don't feel that way here.) Many people dismiss any book based on a popular character or television show as "twaddle." I've personally known people to panic just a wee bit when their child only wanted to read books "beneath" their current reading level. We adopt more of a Keep Calm and Read On kind of attitude here.

5. Sleep. We have co-slept or bed-shared with all of our children. Currently the Senior Agents share a room and the Littlest Agent has a bed (mattress on the floor) in our room. Some nights everyone sleeps peacefully in their own beds. Many nights at least one "extra" makes it into mom and dad's bed. Sometimes we wake up resembling a pile of meerkats. But here's the thing: It's such a short time in the overall scheme of things. So we don't stress when someone goes through an I-need-Momma-to-sleep-next-to-me-every-night-for-two-weeks phase, or when the toddler "still" wakes up in the night to nurse, or when "bedtime" shifts to later or earlier than normal. Because like everything else with parenting, as soon as you get used to something, it changes. (For more thoughts on this, see Sleeping Like a Baby.)

6. Television. Another parenting issue that pops up frequently (must everything be an "issue"?) is how much (if any) TV children at various ages "should" be watching. Will it rot their brains from the inside out? Does it take away from time doing other things (reading, art, music, outside play)? Eh. I don't really think so. Here we treat TV (and movies and DVDs) as just one activity of many. Some days the television might be on for several hours, another day it's off most of the time. We watch together a lot. The kids like to watch, but don't bat an eye when it's time to do something else. (And yes, I've read the studies on the purported evils of television.)

7. Toys. As a parent of young children who knows and talks to many other parents of young children, I hear/read a lot of chatter about toys, everything from the type (wooden vs. plastic, electronic vs. quiet, interactive vs. passive) to the amount (is it okay to have a lot? is just a few better? what about none?) to the educational value (are some better than others?) to who is responsible for keeping them clutter free.

I pretty much have the same attitude about toys that I do about

Agent E loves her little brother

television: they are just one thing we do each day. The Agents love to play all day long. They play with dolls, blocks, legos, loud beeping toys, cars, dinosaurs, a little red wagon, stuffed animals, computers (I know; gasp!), books, sand, frisbees, jump ropes, instruments, grass, rocks, water, paint, play dough, dishes . . . I think you get the idea.

And don't even get me started on gender-specific toys and the acceptability of such. Should we "allow" girls to play with Barbies? Is it "okay" if your daughters want to play with trucks and your son wants to dress up? Please. Anyone who ever raised girls and boys in the same home knows those distinctions are complete hooey. Girls and boys with access to a variety of toys are going to play with them, whatever they are. Period.

Of course, not stressing doesn't necessarily mean we enjoy every single one of these all the time and never complain and never purposely set a kind, firm limit on them. We still encourage the Agents to try new foods, turn the television off at dinner (usually), and sometimes have to shuffle the kids off to bed while they claim but we're not tired! But these seven things are not typically "battles" for us, so to speak. (And, yes, I hate using that word. And, no, I couldn't come up with a better one while drafting this post.)

How are these areas handled at your house?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

The Pressure's Off

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 10:05:00 +0000

Yesterday I went out, by myself, to Target and Starbucks. To Target to search for a new skirt and pair of sandals to wear to an upcoming wedding, and to Starbucks for some quiet reading, coffee, and cake pop time. At least once every two to three weeks I like to go out in public somewhere, anywhere, without my usual six-and-under entourage. So, yes, I regularly pay another person good money so I can drink (lattes) solo. And I don't feel pressure to do much else with this time.

(Continue reading by clicking over to Connected Mom.)

Happy Birthday, Agent J! (a photo post)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 09:00:00 +0000

Today my little wild thing (aka, Agent J) turns five. Following are some of my favorite photos of her over the years. (It was really hard to narrow them down!)

The birthday girl with her Wall-E cake

In her element

From our family photos taken just after her fourth birthday

Three-year-old Julia

Two-year-old Julia

Her one-year-old photo shoot

At six months

With Momma a few hours after her arrival

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Book Review: The Christian Mama's Guide to Baby's First Year

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 11:47:00 +0000

Today I'm sharing another BookSneeze® book review. My previous reviews can be found here here. (If you are a blogger and interested in how you can get free books to review, click here for more info.)

The Christian Mama's Guide to Baby's First Year: Everything You Need to Know to Survive (and Love) Your First Year As a Mom by Erin MacPherson is intended as a best-friend-whispering-in-your-ear, tell-it-like-it-is, I've-been-there-I-understand kind of virtual support through the haze that is Year One With a New Baby.

The problem is, it's more a compilation of ~~awful~~ misleading advice and an attempt at sarcastic humor than truly helpful.

Two thoughts popped into my head as I read through this book:

1. I should probably reconsider the types of books I choose to review, because the last several have just made my head hurt. (Honestly, I should have known better, after that last Christian parenting book disaster.)

2. I totally need to write a parenting book, because if c-r-a-p like this is getting published (and in multiples, no less; this author has several parenting books under her belt) the editorial competition must be pretty weak.

Yes; it's that bad.

The whole thing reads like a badly written mainstream parenting magazine article combined with questionable "wisdom" from that one friend every new parent has that won't shut up about what wonderful decisions she made (even if they would never work for you and have no basis in reality).

I hardly know where to begin with the level of awfulness reached in these pages, so I'm just going to plod though some of the worst of it.

Birth. After going on and on for pages about the horror that is vaginal birth, she reveals that she has never experienced it herself, as she had three c-sections. Later she mocks vaginal birth because she visited her SIL after the birth of her nephew, and she was awake in bed, coherent, eating a bagel. The whole chapter is complete fear-mongering about the recovery process. Now, I've given birth three times, and there are plenty of things about it that aren't pretty, easy, or painless. But, there's a fine line between telling it how it is and unnecessary scare tactics.

Breastfeeding. The "advice" here is mostly laughable, to put it nicely. And she includes a lengthy section on Reasons Not To Breastfeed where she throws out a number of tired myths and misconceptions. She also implies that the only way to nurse a baby with other humans present is to use a cover. Even in your own house. SMH on that one. And she also goes on and on about her regrets with not "making" her babies take a bottle.

Sleep. Sleep training presented as the only option. The list of books about infant/toddler sleep she offers leans toward CIO/strict scheduling as the best course of action. (She does mention two more positive titles, but it's clear when she lists the pros/cons of each she is not really a fan.) She brags about her superior sleep training skills, and while she does pay lip service to understanding your babies needs, it's only as a means to an end (i.e., developing a better plan to "train" them).

Solids. More of the same old nonsense here. Advising to start with baby cereal. (Not usually the best option, by the way. Which she would know if she did any actual research.) Purees presented as the only choice. Making fun of moms who purchase organic foods. Not even presenting BLW as a possibility. A frequent reference to squeezy pouches, whatever the H those are. Really, this whole chapter is just a mess.

I could go on, but the rest of it is simply a rehash of misinformed hooey that terrifies first-time parents everywhere. Oh, and the "Christian" part? Um, slapping a Bible verse here and there within some of the chapters (not even all of them!) does not make this a Christian parenting book.

I almost want to request the other books in the series (pregnancy, toddler, grade school) simply for the train wreck factor. Alas, instead I will l likely move on to something feel-good and Jesus-y and Max Lucado-ish so I can write a positive review again. Sigh.

In sum: Pass on this book. I have several other titles that are well worth your time linked at the top of this blog if you'd like to check them out (hint, hint).

What do you think? Parenting advice books: Love 'em or hate 'em?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Our Messy Week (a photo post)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 19:54:00 +0000

We had kind of a week of making messes around here . . . nothing out of the ordinary for us, really. You may remember this:

Anyway, for whatever reason the Agents were very into Things That Tend To Be Melty, Messy, or Mushy this week. Following are a few things we did.

Crashing colors

(I wish I would have taken another picture at the very beginning)

Make your own goo

(both the gooey and dried forms were fun)

Homemade play dough

(decided after the first day we did not add enough flour)

Making new crayons from broken pieces

(always important to stir halfway through)

We even made a mess of our books

(eh, the bookshelf probably needed reorganized anyway)

Our old standby: sidewalk paint

(this picture's pretty neat because they're just getting started)

What "experiments" have you done this week?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. I'm linking this up at the Weekly Wrap-Up hosted by Kris at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

Dinosaur Day

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:21:00 +0000

The weather here in usually warm and sunny Florida is, well, not. Currently 55 F (~ 13 C), dark, and rainy. A good time to stay curled up inside.

Agents have decided they want to have Dinosaur Day. We've got dinosaur books (both from our own bookshelf and the library), dinosaur toys, dinosaur coloring pages, a dinosaur field guide, and a Dinosaur Train DVD marathon on in the background. We even have a dinosaur facts workbook and dinosaur writing pages. I see fashioning dinosaur crafts out of construction paper and toilet paper rolls in my future as well.

Of course, this is one of our focus areas for right now, so we didn't exactly pull the idea out of thin air. I love that they are so excited about our "theme" of the day, though. I see us doing this more often, given our love of long unit studies.

Downside: I'm going to have Come on along with me, we're taking dinosaurs under the sea! stuck in my head for the next 100 years.

What are you up to in your homeschool today?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

p.s. I'll be linking this up later today at the Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers Weekly Wrap-Up.

Three Things Women Should Stop Saying To Other Women

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:13:00 +0000

Today's Connected Mom post is a little reminder of how we don't really know anyone's story except our own. I personally have heard each of the things I shared multiple times. Have you? Click on over to read the full post here and let me know in the comments. What would you add?

Book Review: Intentional Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 16:38:00 +0000

Today I'm sharing another BookSneeze® book review. If you are a blogger and interested in how you can get free books to review, click here for more info. My previous reviews can be found here.

Warning: This is much longer than my usual reviews. I got on a roll and couldn't stop myself.

Intentional Parenting: Autopilot Is for Planes is written by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan, who together run Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee. One of the first things that becomes evident is that the three authors have three very different voices. At times I had to remind myself I was still reading the same book.

Honestly, I was a bit skeptical choosing to review a parenting book. As a Christian who advocates a more connection (opposed to authoritarian) view of parenting, I've come to recognize that few Christian parenting "experts" share the same views.

Chapter 1 pleasantly surprised me. The book starts with a discussion about parenting out of love instead of fear, about extending grace. In fact, when I read passages like this one, I felt relieved and began wonder if maybe I doubted too soon:

You will continue to hear us invite you to extend grace to yourself in the journey of parenting. You are going to make mistakes. God can redeem the mistakes we make in parenting. He extends grace to us so that we can then extend grace and mercy to our children. Receive the grace and mercy that is available to you.

(And later in that same chapter the author quotes Anne Lamott, who happens to be one of my all-time favorites. Winning, right?)

Then I moved on to Chapter 2 and read a list of very specific, gentle things you can do when you start to feel yourself lose patience: slowing down, being present, listening, giving your child the benefit of the doubt, allowing sufficient downtime. It even includes this statement:

[Y]elling never helps. It just creates more strife between you and your child and either angers him or makes him fearful.

So far, so good: grace, gentle ideas, no yelling.

Chapter 3 talks about how as parents we often compensate for unresolved issues in our own childhood. Without getting too psychobabble-y, they discuss five parenting styles, including the Peter Pan Parent, the Hovering Parent, the Hipster Parent, the Second-Chance Parent, and the Pain-Free Parent.

Words of wisdom from Chapter 3:

Your past affects your future, but doesn't have to define it. It doesn't have to define you as a person, and it doesn't have to define you as a parent.

Chapter 4 addresses balance:

The balance is in loving them, protecting them, and keeping them safe, while also releasing them into the world and supporting independence. It's easier said than done.

Later in the chapter, they have this to say about discipline:

Discipline has always been intended for teaching, shaping, and protecting our kids. The purpose of disciplining our children is to teach them as a means of loving them. Furthermore, if discipline is designed as a means of loving our children, our posture in discipline should be one of love, not of anger. Discipline should never be about harming or shaming our children.

But then I get to a baffling story about a mom and her middle school son that culminates with the son calling 911 on his mother (as a threat) and ends with a police officer yelling at the boy while the mom sits passively by sipping coffee. (I cannot do the insanity of this tale justice without quoting four or five pages of text, but trust me: Huge red flag raised here. What exactly is this story, and this book, really getting at?)

Moving on to Chapter 5: Being a Consistent Parent. The authors discuss three specific areas they believe consistency to be important: values, responsibility, and discipline.

They begin by asking if your values are reflected in what your children hear, in what your children see, in how you spend your time, and in how you live your life. All great questions. They offer specific suggestions for communication your values to toddlers, older children, and teens.

Next, they cover responsibilities, namely age-appropriate chores and realistic expectations. Nothing too earth shattering here, but decent advice.

Then I got to the section titled Consistent Discipline. This is usually where "Christian" parenting books lose me, but I take a deep breath, and dive in.

It starts off pretty mild: time-out for toddlers (I disagree, but I'm not surprised to find it in the list of options), dealing with whining, predictable bedtime routines, etc.

Then I read this:

You are establishing the pecking order of your home. They need to know that you are in charge. (Wait . . . wasn't fear-based parenting what they wanted to avoid?)

And this:

To use reason with a child instead of discipline gives him too much power. (Doesn't this just teach them not to talk about their problems?)

And this:

Give them a chance, but only one. (What about that whole "extending grace" thing they talked about at the beginning? Ironically, they make a huge deal about wisdom in the biblical story of the prodigal son later in the book.)

Their list of "helpful consequences" for disobeying is completely random (not natural, or logical) and in some cases doesn't even make sense. (Making a young child run laps as punishment? Seriously, what the?)

They mention spanking, and at first it sounds like the disagree with it, but then they make the distinction between hitting with an object and popping the child's hand. While they express that there are much better options, they tend to be wishy-washy on the whole subject, not specifically condemning or condoning it.

Glad to be out of Chapter 5, I move on to Chapter 6, which covers playful parenting:

[C]hoosing to live with a lightheartedness that comes from seeing the world through a child's eyes.

A mostly benign chapter that emphasizes fun, spontaneity, humor, and joyfulness. Truthfully, a breath of fresh air after Chapter 5.

Chapter 7 is supposed to be about being more connected, but the author (my favorite of the three writers up until this point) spends about half the chapter bashing social media. I get it: many folks are "disconnected" to their real-life friends and family, and obsessed with their online personas. Then it moved on to talking about how we don't get to choose our children's passions, just support them. Next was a long-winded story about witnessing a verbally abusive dating relationship at the movies. (Still not sure how that fit in to connection parenting.) Just when I'm really about to give up on the chapter as completely incoherent, out of nowhere, he starts discussing how child-centered our lives are. After he makes a decent point or two about parents making their marriage a priority, he throws this out:

We'd even go as far as to encourage you to purposely miss some of your kids' games or activities when opportunities arise.

Um, what? I mean, I understand sometimes things happen that are unavoidable and it's not wise to shield you children from all potential disappointment, but purposely bailing on them to make a point? WTF?

At this point, I'm pretty much over this book, although I do read it all the way through to the end. The remaining chapters, for the record, address encouragement, spirituality, mercy, hope, and freedom. Every single one of them includes completely contradictory thoughts; sometimes sounding gentle and supportive, then turning around and offering "advice" that is absolute nonsense that has nothing to do with being an intentional, connected, kind parent (or person for that matter).

Chapter 11: Being a Hopeful Parent is a particular doozy. One of the things it suggests is that it is more important that your child respect you than like you. I know at face value, many people probably agree with that statement. But look at it more carefully. Do you like people you don't respect? Could you honestly respect someone you did not like? They go hand-in-hand, and like everything else with parenting, are best shown by example.

Later in Chapter 11 I almost laughed at loud at the section Nothing Works. The options they include here are time out (just increase the time if it's still not working!), running laps (the second time this insanity is passed off as "discipline"), and another nod to Love and Logic (which, I admit I have not read, but they refer to it multiple times here . . . an original idea would be nice). How about some real resources/ideas that are not punitive?

And I haven't even mentioned some of the "smaller" red flags that made me twitch during my reading, including the condescending and in some cases all-out sexist references to gender differences.

In summary, I did enjoy some of this book (the first couple of chapters sounded promising, really), but I simply could not recommend it based on the punitive recommendations for dealing with discipline. So, it's getting one star. Once again, I'm a disappointed in a so-called Christian parenting book. I wish I could say I were surprised.

Have you read this book? Thoughts?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Note: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

7 Quick Takes Friday (49)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 08:00:00 +0000

Ooh, yes . . . it's Friday. And that usually means 7QT at Conversion Diary. But there is not one today. But I wrote this before I knew that. I love writing these posts each week. Have a blog? You should join us. (Yes; I'm talking to you.) Anyway, here's my Quick Takes post that's not really a Quick Takes post because there is no Quick Takes post this week.

1. One day last week Agent A kept saying over and over what sounded like, I can't find my butt. I need my butt on. Help me put my butt on. Took me a looooong while to figure out the word he was looking for was belt, and not even a real belt, one from one of those puzzles that teaches you how to buckle, snap, zip, etc.

2. In the car on the way to the gym, Agent E started asking a million questions about going to school vs. homeschooling: Would she have to go every day? (Well, Monday through Friday, yes, unless there's a holiday.) Would it be like the preschool class she remembers? (Um, no.) Would she have homework? (Probably.) Would she take a bus or would Momma drive? (Eh . . . not sure.) If she took the bus, what time does the bus get to our house? (Well, it doesn't stop in front of our house, we'd have to leave the house at 7:30 and walk a block or two to meet it.) 7:30? You mean 7:30 a.m.? In the morning? (long pause) Yeah; that's too early.

3. Anyone else spring cleaning? I'm sort of on this decluttering and cleaning mission . . . so far, so good. The other day I cleared some books off my bookshelf that I've been dragging around with me move to move for like 15 years and finally decided I should just let go. I was quite proud of myself, because I usually have a hard time letting go of books. (Other stuff, not so much.) Then later that same day I came home with ten books from the YMCA's used book sale. In my defense, they were all for Agent E, not for me. Which brings me to #4 . . .

4. Do you find yourself encouraging your children to read the same books (or types of books) you read at the same ages? Or are there some that you "missed" the first time around but now find yourself seeking out for your own children? Two of the books I came home from the Y with were Anne of Green Gables and Little Women. Never. read. either. (Is that awful?) Agent E, however, read (and loved) both of them.

5. I should clarify . . . the books Agent E is reading are watered-down versions of these stories. They are hardback books, about 175 pages, with lots of black and white drawings. So, the basic story modified for younger readers. They are both from from this series of Great Classics for Children. I honestly have no idea what age/grade level the original works are intended for. (Anyone want to help me out with this? Agent E is 6 and reading well, definitely above a first grade level. And, she can have a conversation about the characters and the plot, so I know she's really "getting" it.)

6. Spoiler alert, if you happen to be the other person on the planet besides me who hasn't read Anne of Green Gables: I asked Eva what she thought of it. The first thing she told me was, well, I liked it, and I like Anne, she does lots of fun things on the farm, but the ending is sad when Matthew dies. (Note to self: Do not ask Agent E what she thinks of a book you haven't read yet.)

7. So, I asked this question on my Facebook page earlier this week, but I'm going to ask it again here: Do you, Dear Reader of This Blog, also have your own blog? If so, leave a link in the comments and I will check it out.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Never Say This To a New Parent (Recycled Edition)

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 20:59:00 +0000

Linking up at The Mommy Mess for Going Green (i.e., recycle an old post). I originally wrote this list of things one should never say to a new parent (or any parent, really) in December 2010, shortly after Agent A was born. I'm both laughing at myself and cringing at the snarkiness.

1. What do you do all day? Unless you want the answer to be “plot your untimely death.”

2. Is he/she sleeping through the night? I had several people ask me this of my exclusively breastfed days-old baby.

3. You hold him/her too much. You will spoil him/her. I’ll spare you my Attachment Parenting rant, nor will I share the myriad evidence that suggests it’s basically impossible to spoil a young infant with appropriate attention and love, and just say this: He is my last baby. If I want to hold him 24 hours a day, I will. And I will not regret a moment.

4. He/she is just using you as a pacifier. To pacify means to bring peace, so yes, I am bringing peace to my baby. Would it be preferable if he were chewing on a piece of rubber?

5. Was this one planned? None of your @#$% business. Besides,

Baby Agent A (~6 weeks)

he/she is already here. Do you really even want to go there?

6. How nice that you have a boy/girl since your other child/children is/are a boy(s)/girl(s). Yes, we were totally thinking of sending our third back if it were the “wrong” gender.

7. Anything related to discipline. No one wants your advice. Trust me.

8. You look tired. Because clearly the only appropriate answer to this gem is, “Thanks for noticing. So, you will be coming over every afternoon to entertain my older children while I nap with the baby? Great. When do you start?”

What would you add to this list?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Top Ten {Tuesday}: Momma's Kindle Favorites

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 08:00:00 +0000

Linking up once again with Angie at Many Little Blessings for Top Ten {Tuesday}. Today I'm sharing what apps/books I have saved as favorites on my Kindle.

1. Bible. I actually have two of these in my favorites: YouVersion (which I prefer, but you need an Internet connection to use) and a copy of the ESV (not my favorite, but the only free, complete Bible I could find . . . and sometimes I want to read when I don't have a connection, like at the Y).

2. Books. I include whatever books I am currently reading here . . . right now it's Intentional Parenting (for an upcoming book review) and 2000 Kisses a Day.

3. Calendar. I don't use this calendar per se (no appointments, notes, to-do's in it), but I keep it accessible in case I want to quickly check a date on something. And, sometimes I literally cannot remember what day it is and I need an easy reference.

4. Disney Hours. This app shows the WDW park hours (including magic hours), as well as show and parade times, for any date you put in. I added this to my favorites when we made yet another Disney trip earlier this month, and never removed it. Since we don't usually go too long between trips, I just decided to leave it there.

Agents with Duffy earlier in March

5. E-mail. Love having a super-quick way to check both my personal and my blog e-mail.

6. Evernote. This is my primary method of creating blog drafts, as well as keeping track of the pages on the blog (i.e., the tabs across the top; check them out hint hint) so that I can update them easily. Any edits I make here automatically sync up with Evernote on my laptop.

7. Facebook. The only think I don't like about this app is that I can only access one newsfeed. So, I can see my entire personal newsfeed, but I can only see my own page profile, not its associated newsfeed.

8. Kindle FreeTime. For Agent E . . . she has tons of books and games loaded on "her" Kindle that she absolutely loves. I'm always on the lookout for new apps to complement what we're studying in School With Mommy. I wrote about some of them here.

9. Silk. I use this mostly to browse my own blog homepage . . . every day I scroll through the Blogs I Love list and click on any new posts that have popped up since my last check. Other than that, I don't do a lot of Internet surfing on the Kindle; I prefer to wait until I have my laptop out.

10. Weather. Specifically, The Weather Channel app. (Agent E has this one on hers, too. She's weirdly obsessed with the weather. It's one of the first things I check every day, so she probably gets it from me.)

Do you have a Kindle (or similar device)? What features do you use most often?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.

Posts That Never Get Written

noreply@blogger.com (Momma in Progress) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:58:00 +0000

I've written previously about blogging topics that never come to fruition. In addition just simply never getting around too it, as was the case with this list of abandoned blog ideas, there are three main reasons I end up not writing about a topic that pops into my head, even if I really wanted to and initially thought it would have made an awesome post.

1. It's no longer timely. Truth: Momma is a good-intentioned procrastinator. I will never be one of those bloggers who has it together enough to write about current events or something trendy or controversial and generating lots of responses. (Well, there was that one time, sort of.) Mostly, though, I just end up debating the issue in my own head until it's too late to do much about it.

2. My thoughts are often more snarky than encouraging or informative. This is what sparked this short post, which has consistently been in my top-ten most viewed since the week I shared it. Sometimes things sound a lot better in my own brain, and I stop myself before I spew them out.

3. I simply cannot remember what I wanted to write about. This is the biggest reason by far. I wish I could just turn my brain off when I'm driving, showering, nursing A in the middle of the night, or otherwise unable to jot something down. I've started keeping a dry erase board on the refrigerator so I can at least attempt to write cryptic notes to myself if I happen to be home and able. Most of the time, however, these snippets of great potential just disappear, never to be recalled again.

Do you have posts inside your head that will never be published for these (or other) reasons?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.