Earlier this year I sold and/or gave away most of my maternity clothes and a lot of baby clothes. Of course, because I'm somewhat (okay, very) neurotic I could not part with some of them, and they will forever be stored in a box (okay, several boxes) in our attic. Those little pajamas all three wore as newborns, the dress both girls wore for their baptisms, the sweater I wore when I delivered Julia (because she came so fast I didn't have time to get out of it) . . . I can't let go of these kinds of things. Even though I now have proof I will never need them again.

Just a note that this post may wander into Too Much Information territory, so proceed with caution.

Back in March I had a tubal. I originally considered a tubal ligation (which is actually cutting or clipping, but what folks think of when you say "getting your tubes tied") following Agent A's birth, but decided surgery wasn't the way to go. So instead, when A was four months old I had a tubal occlusion (blocking). A link to the specific procedure can be found here (although they make it sound a lot more simple than it actually was). 

I will miss the cute, squishy baby days
Anyway, yesterday I finally had the "dye test" to show that yes, the procedure worked.  My tubes are 100%  blocked. There Will Be No More Agents.

I am relieved and sad at the same time. I mean, I have THREE kids and I'm almost 40 years old. Why on earth would I even want to think about getting pregnant?

In some ways I cannot believe I am never going to hold my own newborn again. Only following A's birth did I get the experience of really enjoying those first awesome moments with a brand new, cord-attached human.

Yet, it feels absolutely right that we are, in fact, done.

1 comment:

  1. I understand the feeling although I do not have my tubes tied. I am pretty young and could have another if I wanted but I feel that my two are plenty at this point.