This Is Why We Don't Go Anywhere

A few posts back I posed the question, What does getting out mean to you? Most folks agreed with me that while staying home all day every day would make them nuts, and occasional adult conversation is nice, actually making the effort to take the kids farther than the back yard every day would be a bit much. 

Here, we don't "get out" every day, but even introverted hermits like to make friends every once in a while. Which is why I was so excited to see there is a chapter of Attachment Parenting International in our new hometown. I made contact. I spoke with the leader of the group. I gathered some info on potential play group and homeschooling group action. I was ready to interact with other humans.

The API group had a meeting today. Normally we don't venture too far on Saturdays, but I made an exception. The distance was almost a deal-breaker for me (as in outside of my 10-mile radius "zone") but we have a full tank of gas and Google maps and GPS. I dress the Agents in adorable matchy outfits, pack snacks, and we head out. After 40 minutes we pull into the parking lot. 

At which point Agent J pukes all over her dress.

Maybe she just ate too much soap
Now, J is a cougher, she coughs a lot and very hard every time she gets the wee-est sniffle. She may or may not have asthma; technically she's been "diagnosed" with it and even took meds for it in the past. Regardless, once in a great while she will cough so hard she makes herself throw up a little. I'm 99% sure that is what just happened, but how do I take her in now?

I get out of the car, clean her up best I can with the baby wipes in my purse, and sit back down in the driver's seat. 

Agent E: Are we going in? Why aren't we getting out of the car? Are there friends here? Is this the playground? This doesn't look like the playground. Is J sick? A, stop pulling my hair!

Me: No, sorry, we can't. J probably is fine, but she may be getting sick, and we don't want to spread her germs.

Agent E: We should have just stayed home.

Meanwhile I'm thinking we drove all this way, and I really, really want to go in. And I know in all likelihood what just happened is a fluke and J is fine. But . . . 

So, we go home. And on the way decide to stop at McDonalds for lunch. Because what else would any self-respecting parent who just cleaned up puke from her child do? On the way, more exciting conversation ensues.

Agent E: Remember that time at Ba and Grandpap's [my parents] house when I ate soup and then it came back out of my mouth later? 

Me: Yep. You were sick. We all were. Even Baby J. [This happened a while ago. Agent E never forgets anything.]

Agent E: Was I coughing?

Me: No. You had a stomach virus. It's like having germs in your tummy and they have to come out. Sometimes you throw up food you already ate to help the germs get out.

(Pause here to order chicken nuggets and fries.)

Agent E: What if they don't want to come out that way? Do you just poop them out?

Me: Yes, Sweetie. Something like that.

Drive back to the house. Eat lunch. Agent J is totally okay. And we escaped being social once again.


  1. My sesame biscuit is almost coming out my nose because I am snorting with laughter, and it's all your fault.

  2. LOL at escaping being social. Hope your sweetie is fine now.